Kenya From Here

My daughter's eyes

2009-08-07T05:18:00.002+03:00

My daughter Ali spent 3 weeks in Maseno, Kenya working at a mission hospital run by a retired American doctor. I spent time there in 2003. Here is an excerpt from her last email from there:

The last time I wrote I was leaving to go watch a man undergo surgery to have his prostate removed. I arrived in the operating room (I hadn't scrubbed in but I was in scrubs, hat and mask) to find the surgeon from Kisumu making the first incision (there is no such thing as laproscopic or minimally invasive surgery here). Holly and I stood on risers to see over the surgeon's shoulder and answered his questions regarding Michael Jackson's death. Everything was going smoothly until the man started bleeding more than normal while the surgeon was trying to cut off all the blood supply to the prostate. Then to make matters worse, the power went out and the generator wouldn't start. As the surgeon is trying to see in the dark, the nurse is trying to explain to Holly how to put his cell phone light on to use as the surgeon's primary/only source of light. Unfortunately, the cell phone light was burnt out, so Holly offered to run the 200 yards or so to our house to get her head lamp. While Holly was sprinting home, the generator turns on and the crisis was diverted... or so we thought. The surgery continues (I will spare you those details as it wasn't too pretty) and the old man/anesthetist disappears for awhile. Holly and I realize that the bag that is supposed to inflate and deflate as the patient breathes is not moving. We tell the surgeon who yells for the anesthetist to return and about 5 minutes later he does. Fortunately, soon after we realized the lack of movement of the bag, it started again. Upon his return, the anesthetist told us that "some patients decide that life is worth living and so start to breathe again." GREAT! The bag stops moving again and while the anesthetist leaves the room again, he calls over his shoulder that I should squeeze the bag! I give Holly a look that pretty much says, "Are you F*&^ing kidding me?!?!?!?" and proceed to squeeze the bag (I guessed that every 4 seconds was appropriate!!!!) and breathe for the patient for about 10 minutes. The surgery continues... the patient is still bleeding profusely and the surgeon seems frustrated and worried. In order to get rid of the excess blood, there is a suction device (tube connected to a vacuum/jar) used. While the blood keeps coming, the suction tube keeps getting clogged. After the 3rd time of the surgeon realizing it's not suctioning b/c certain anesthetists and surgery techs are stepping on it, he threatens everyone in the room. Two minutes pass and it is clogged again. Luckily, no one's feet are involved this time. As the patient continues to bleed (I haven't seen that much blood ever), our favorite anesthetist proceeds to unhook the suction tube and start whipping it against the floor of the operating room to get the clog out. As he whips the tube, I'm standing on my riser trying to duck and avoid flying blood. Finally, the bleeding stopped and our patient was sewn up. I'm happy to report that he was discharged a week later and was able to pee on his own. Love surgery at Maseno Mission Hospital! There were many other stories and patients after that surgery. We had 8 people die in the hospital during our 3 week stay. Unfortunately, many of them could have been prevented. But, that is life as a practicing physician in Maseno and luckily there are some great stories of recovery to get you through each day

Bits and Pieces

2009-06-29T16:13:00.003+03:00

Just some updates. The kids at Nyumbani are all doing well. Ali is in Kenya now for a month and visited Nyumbani. She brought copies of all the pictures, or at least the best ones, for the boys to put in their albums. She said they all looked like they had grown some more!
She's now up in Maseno working at the mission hospital run by Dr. Hardison that I worked at in 2003. She will learn so much and come back inspired I'm sure.
Today I start my new job in the HIV clinic. I'm excited, a little nervous but very ready to rejoin the world of HIV/AIDS. I am fascinated by the virus and its impact on the world. HIV here will be a whole different ball game then HIV in Africa. Just the fact that here it's more of a chronic illness and there it's acute and a death sentence for so many.

Pictures and More Details

2009-05-08T16:01:00.006+03:00

I've been trying to gather pictures that everyone took to add to the blog but it's taking longer than I thought. It's also for some reason hard to upload them, Elizabeth help!!!

The kids had an amazing time, favorite activities were riding bikes, driving in the car, riding the Metro in DC. Obviously they like being on the move! They, like other Kenyan visitors, frequently commented on how good our infrastructure ie: roads, trains etc was. They thought travel here is so effortless, always food, internet, electricity. They loved the clothes that they got, especially the pajamas! At Nyumbani they sleep in their clothes so pjs were a big treat. They met with the heads of PEPFAR in Africa who were in DC for a Global AIDS summit meeting, That time was so meaningful on both sides, the kids said thank you for the medicines, the people who work so hard to get the medicines but don't often see the people they help were so moved. We went on a tour of the Capitol, they met Sen. Feingold and had their picture taken with him, spent a morning going to school at Holy Trinity School in Georgetown, had lunch at Sidwell Friends, (we saw the Obama girls, they're great), they danced at a benefit for Nyumbani at Sidwell, participated in Earth Day festivities at the US Dept of Agriculture, had tea with Ambassador Peter Ortega at the Kenyan Embassy, had their pictures taken at the White House. We then drove 13 hours home to Madison! Not one fight in the car, didn't even have DVDs or gameboys, they just played and talked and looked out the window. Friday they visited Edgewood College, played soccer with some kids, Saturday we shopped and packed, Sunday church and then the final goodbye at O'Hare.

It was a great trip, they saw and learned a lot. I got to spend great time with them, give them a great adventure. They were sad to leave but anxious to share their stories and gifts with their friends at Nyumbani.

Don't Worry! New Name!

2009-04-20T01:45:00.003+03:00

I decided to update everything, you're not lost! I hope you all continue to read the blog. I will be more faithful with my updating. I'll keep you up to date on the happenings in Kenya and also news about HIV in the USA.

DC!

2009-04-20T01:19:00.002+03:00

We drove here yesterday, took 11 hours! These kids put American kids to shame, not one fight in the back seat, not one "are we there yet?" or "how much longer?" They don't even ask to stop to go to the bathroom!
Friday we stayed in Chicago at my dad's, they consider him their grandfather. He told me how polite and well behaved he thought they were. I'm so proud of what great ambassadors for Nyumbani they are.
Today we're staying with another friend of Nyumbani, they been driving around all day in a convertible with the top down. Tomorrow we head into DC and meet with Global Aids and they get a tour of the Capitol.
They've visited three schools so far, Blessed Sacrament in Madison, a primary school in Sumner Iowa (when we were visiting their other favorite volunteer, Jim) and a primary school in Naperville, Il. I asked Brian how Kenyan kids were different from American kids and he said "they're all white!"

pictures

2009-04-14T15:08:00.001+03:00

http://flickr.com/gp/48046844@N00/H2G4Jz Click here for pictures of the lab visit. Still working on getting my pictures up. The hospital photographer took 300 pictures of the kids, will put some of them up when I get them.

Day 1 and 2

2009-04-14T15:04:00.002+03:00

It's wonderful to have them here, they're having great fun. Everyone has been welcoming and so generous. Sunday we spent the day at Elizabeth's house, she made a great lunch after church. The kids were introduced at church to much applause, then we headed to her house for the rest of the day. They rode bikes, played with Jack and Emma, searched for Easter eggs and Easter baskets. We all send a big thank you to Elizabeth and Brandon for a great day. They got a World Atlas from Timmy's Liz's parents, maps of the US and photo albums from Brandon's mom. It was such a fun day to have everyone together.I loved seeing them all wrestle with Jack and Officer Tim!

Monday we went to the AIDS Vaccine Research Lab on the UW campus, where they got to do an experiment, they extracted DNA from a strawberry and mango.We then went to Wal-Mart to do some quick shopping, they all needed belts, they couldn't keep their pants up! One of the employees came and started speaking Swahili to them, he was from Kenya! It's like being an American somewhere in the world and recognizing another American. We all know each other!Then to UW Children's Hospital for a tour and a meeting with the CEO of the hospital. They had great gifts for the kids and again a warm welcome.

Today they have physical exams at the Pediatric Infectious Disease Clinic then on to Blessed Sacrament to spend the afternoon in an American school.So many memories being made, they love cereal with warm milk! shower gel and sleeping in. Think it's so cold here, it's been in the 40's and yesterday they actually saw a few snow flurries! Looking forward to warmer weather.

They're here!!!!

2009-04-12T04:19:00.002+03:00

They arrived this afternoon at O'Hare. There outside now playing soccer with some new American friends, Elijah Sara and Tatiana. It's so fun to see. They're excited exhausted and a little bit overwhelmed. They don't like applesauce!
More tomorrow night, pictures I promise.
My heart is full.

On Their Way!

2009-04-11T05:19:00.002+03:00

As I write this they are somewhere between Nairobi and London. Half the orphanage was on the school bus to take them to the airport! Protus said that John had to check in this morning and make sure it really was happening, even they know in Kenya nothing is for certain.
Protus (the director of the orphanage) was in touch with British Airways today. They are a sponsor of the Home, and the pilot for the flight had been to Nyumbani. So, they were making sure the kids and Uncle Joseph were well taken care of. Maybe even an upgrade!
They have a 5 hour layover in London, then on to Chicago.
This time tomorrow night they will be asleep in my house.
I'll post pictures of their arrival tomorrow night.

Thoughts Before They Arrive

2009-04-06T15:14:00.003+03:00

Getting the house ready, making plans, putting everything in place. It is overwhelmingly heartening how welcoming everyone has been. This trip wouldn't have happened without all the people who so generously gave. I am especially grateful to the children of Blessed Sacrament School here in Madison. They collected money, clothes, toiletries for the boys. American kids helping Kenyan kids. I will cherish the afternoon they all meet.

As I get ready, I think about when I first met the boys in 2003. It was the day after I arrived. I went into Cottage D to give them a message. They laughed at my stumbling efforts to speak Swahili, but encouraged me just the same. The 6 boys and I quickly became inseparable. John, George, Brian and the 3 Samuels. The death of each Samuel scarred my heart and soul, each was so brave and suffered so much. For me they became the symbol of the world's disregard.

This trip is my way of making it up to the surviving 3, I can show them that they do matter, the world does care.

3 Excited Boys and One Lucky Uncle Joseph!

2009-03-18T04:23:00.003+03:00

They even have visas!!! (Sorry I couldn't rotate the picture!) George on the left, John in the middle and Brian

The USA Through Other Eyes.

2009-03-13T18:53:00.003+03:00

Here's the trip report for Nicholas. He arrived at O'Hare Airport in Chicago the Sunday before Thanksgiving. The first thing he said when I saw him was "thank you." He really couldn't believe that this long time dream had come true. The Customs Officers were welcoming and friendly to him- he said it was just a great start to his adventure. What a difference hospitality makes!

I met him with a winter coat and walked out into cold windy Chicago. That night it snowed, I woke him up and took him outside at 4:30 in the morning and we walked around the block while the snow fell. He really thought it was the oddest thing he had ever seen. After his month here and about 50" of snow he thought it was the most annoying thing he had ever seen!

He did lots of presentations, met lots of people, got to sit in Obama's seat in Senate Foreign Relations Committee meeting room, walk through Times Square at 2:30 in the morning, see the Statue of Liberty. He sat down to Thanksgiving dinner with my family, played with Jack and Emma, discussed politics with Tim. He shopped for his family and even ate at McDonalds.

Things he found amazing: how accurate our weather forecasts are. "They say it's going to start snowing at 10 and it does!." The I pass, how good our roads are and how big the expressways are, computers in every exam room in the clinic where I work, rooms in our houses that we don't use, no internet cafes because everyone has access either at home, work or the library. Coming from a place where if the rains don't come people starve to death he was totally floored that we spray our vegetables in the produce section of the grocery store. Everything is on time.. in the Dc metro it even tells you that the next train will arrive in 2 minutes and it does! He found Americans friendly, welcoming, and pretty much clueless about Africa. He found the kids just like Kenyan kids, and loved spending time with them. Wake up in the morning and the newspaper is on your porch! (though who knows how long that will last!)

So fun to see my world through his eyes, as I saw his world.

More details next week about the kids' trip.

Finally, Some News

2009-03-04T23:30:00.004+03:00

I know it has been a very very long time since there was an update. My only excuse was that there was nothing good to say. There are no plans for me to go back, it seems lost in the bureaucracy. I'm working on writing the paper that details the project and the results. Once that is done and sent out perhaps it will fire it up again. I love being here with my family, but when I think about the work it makes me so sad that nobody is carrying it on. I'd love to go back for a quick 3 months and get it off the ground. You never know what life is going to bring so who knows, it may still happen.

Now the good news (hopefully there are still some readers out there!) Three of the boys from Cottage D, John George, and Brian got their visas, I raised enough money(thank you again to all who contributed) for their airfare, and they and one of the uncles from the cottages, Joseph, are coming for a visit!!!! They arrive in Chicago on April 11th. We will be in Madison for a few days, they will have physical exams at UW Children's Hospital, head to Sumner Iowa for 2 days to visit Jim Cross. He's another volunteer who loves those boys as much as I do. Then to Chicago to visit the kids at St. Christina school (my elementary school alma mater) who also contributed to the trip. Then we drive out to DC, to visit the Nyumbani American Board members and maybe even an Obama! Really, no kidding! .

I promise to keep you updated on the plans.

A few other things: I'm hopefully starting a new job in the HIV clinic at UW. A much better fit for me.

My niece sent 4 more blankets over to the daycare, where they were so happy to get them.

The day care is now up to 90 children and they have applied for US AID funding. We're hopeful.

Nicholas Makau from Lea Toto and the Village was here for one month, arrived late November, left the Sunday before Christmas. We pretty much buried him in snow and froze him to death! Here's a picture and I will post more info about his trip and the boys' next week. Really.

Nyumbani good bye

2008-09-11T05:19:00.002+03:00

This is from Sammy's funeral at Nyumbani. The kids are all so sad, but at least he has a name on a marker. So many kids in Africa don't, they're just a statistic. I look at his name though and it breaks my heart. I really can't believe all the Samuels in Cottage D are gone. And in this country we're arguing about lipstick?

Saying Goodbye

2008-09-08T04:57:00.005+03:00

Sammy died Wednesday afternoon. He was in the sickroom with one of the Kenyan nurses and Sr. Julie, an American volunteer. He suffered for months, unable to move, to eat, really communicate. Because they couldn't maintain his nutritional status he lost most of his weight. Because he couldn't move he developed pressure sores on his body when his skin started breaking down. They don't have the fancy beds or cushions we have here that help with that. They tried to protect his body by ptting stuffed animals people had given the kids under the pressure points. Wasn't very comfortable and didn't work. He would cry when Mum Terry came to the sickroom, he just really wanted to be back in the cottage with the other kids.
When the other kids came home from school they were told he had died, and they came to the sickroom to say goodbye. All this brings back such painful memories for me of Ken.
This is my most favorite memory of Sammy:
One day I took him and Brian down to Karen to have "coke and chips (fries). We had a great afternoon just watching all the activity in the village and stopping at the little stores and markets. They were great company. As we headed back up the 3 big hills to Nyumbani we saw some of the older Nyumbani boys walking home from school. Like any little boys anywhere Brian and Sammy wanted to walk with the big boys. I sent them on ahead, watching them running and fooling around and just being boys. It was so fun, and I was so thankful for this glimpse of normal childhood. Suddenly Sammy came running back down the hill to me. He reached out and took my hand and held my hand all the way back to Nyumbani. Sometimes even big boys aren't enough to make you forget a friend.

Sammy K

2008-09-05T02:43:00.000+03:00

Yet Another Child

2008-09-04T05:57:00.002+03:00

Sammy died this afternoon at Nyumbani. He was 12. He suffered for 8 months. I rubbed his back everynight I was there until he fell asleep. I slept on the floor next to his bed when he was sick. I will always be grateful for those memories and that chance to take care of him. I will write more tomorrow and post his picture. I will have more details, so you can't forget either.

Way Overdue Update

2008-07-22T14:48:00.001+03:00

As usual sorry for the long silence. I keep thinking I will have news to report about going back, it's hard to write month after month that there's no news on that front. We have been in email contact but no decisions have been made, no "see you in a month" messages. It's long and involved but briefly here's the hang up: they have committed the money, "they" being PEPFAR. The money is granted and comes into the country through PEPFAR, is administered through US AID by an organization called AED (Academy for Educational Development). International aid is the land of acronyms! AED's role is to provide technical, administrative support and oversight for PEPFAR funded projects. It has been decided that I need to be partnered with another organization for all that support, so I'm not out there by myself wildly spending the US government's money (we all know nobody ever does that!). The hang up is figuring out who I should partner with and what that agreement will look like. In the meantime the infection rate continues to rise and kids who need the information my project provides aren't getting it. A lesson here maybe?
Family news: Emma is thriving! She is really fun, awake a lot and letting us know she's a force to be reckoned with. Jack is the best big brother, she's just kind of flowed into all our lives and now it's like she was always here.
Officer Tim and Liz had a beautiful wonderful wedding. The highlights included the couple on their friends' shoulders dancing to the Ring of Fire, the groomsmen getting their gifts - handcuffs with their names engraved on them! Tim and Jack walking down the aisle together, hand in hand, Jack holding on to his ring pillow, my first glimpse of my beautiful new daughter in law. Our family is truly blessed.
And the sad news, Sammy continues to deteriorate, the last few days he's had fevers, is sleeping more. It's hard to know for sure from here what's happening but we may be nearing the end. The fact that this will be the 3rd Cottage D Samuel I lose is more than I can bear. I will keep you posted. That I promise.

Meet Emma Kate

2008-06-13T03:45:00.004+03:00

She is so alert, always looking around checking out the world. Jack is quite taken with her, he will be a very good big brother.

We all pray that every child born into the world is born into such love, opportunity and good health.

She's Here!!

2008-06-13T03:41:00.003+03:00

Emma Kate was born at 4:33am on June 10th. Tim and I were there when she was born. It is such a blessing to see your daughter bring a child into the world with such grace and humor. All are safe and sound. She weighed 8lbs 4ozs, with lots of dark hair!

Home, But NO Baby!!

2008-06-03T21:03:00.009+03:00

Took over 28 hours but made it home on Saturday night. My new granddaughter, however, decided to stay put! I was glad to not miss her birth but we're all ready now, especially Elizabeth. Here are the promised pictures: The streets of Lamu, still my most favorite place on earth, sitting in the town center, listening to the political discussions (not that I can understand them!) saying jambo (hello) to the kids and drinking coke!

Next is kids from the day care, Jukumu Letu, wrapped in love and blankets from My Two Grandmas. Note the quality of the work! Thank you Liz and Tom and Sandy for your hard work and generosity. The kids are already sleeping under them at nap time.

Last is Sammy K, a shadow of his former self. The face of futility and lost potential. Not to mention pain and suffering.

Kindness of Strangers

2008-05-31T10:00:00.002+03:00

On my way home, will have more details when I arrive. Elizabeth called and said she is in early labor!! I am racing the stork to get there in time. Presently in London, will board soon and hopefully baby girl will stay put as I cross the Atlantic.
My seatmate from Nairobi turned out to be from an NGO based in London that specializes in reproductive health! Her boss was also on the flight, when we landed he offered me his international cell phone to call home and check on elizabeth and see if the baby had arrived. I was able to reach Ali and found out I still have some time.
Then when I checked in with Northwest they wanted to charge me $150 because I have 3 pieces of checked luggage, one half full suitcase, one empty suitcase and one certain gift for a little boy. Kenya Airways hadn't charged me in Nairobi, I pleaded my case, the Northwest agent took pity on me and me let me go without paying!!!
Life is good.

Birthday in Lamu

2008-05-28T09:24:00.002+03:00

Much to tell you about. The internet was down on Thursday and Friday, and so slow in Lamu that I had to wait until today.
I spent last Thursday at the daycare in Ngong. The kids were happy to see me again, though half of them still cry at the sight of my white skin! There are now 90 children there, they have established 2 kindergarten classes, a little nursery school class, and the rest is just day care for the 3 and under. The youngest is 4 months. The parents pay 300 Shillings, $5 per month for their children's school. That way the teachers get paid. Caroline did an amazing job keeping all the children safe during the violence, it became a refuge for the village. I brought blankets that my niece Elizabeth made, ( the link is my two grandmas) during nap time the kids sleep all huddled together on a thin piece of foam.The winter here, which is fast approaching, brings damp rainy cold weather so Caroline and the staff were so excited with the warm fleece blankets. I will post pictures when I get home. The kids had not had medical exams since I left so I spent the day listening to lungs, feeling bellies, looking at rashes. Some are healthy, some needed to see the local clinical officer, 4 I referred to the UK pediatrician who is working at Lea Toto. She graciously agreed to come and see them.
Wednesday was my meeting with the CDC and PEPFAR. It went well, which of course generated the need for more meetings. That comes tomorrow and I should leave there with a plan, and a return date. One can only hope.........
I flew to Lamu on Saturday. It felt so good to be back though it was a reflection of the fallout from the violence that there were only 4 people on the plane. It was great to be recognized (I'm turning into a regular!) and so graciously welcomed back. The owner of the guest house told me that there had been many cancellations and many lay offs. So very sad. The weather was island perfect, hot, humid sunny. Beautiful blue skies, blue water, colorful flowers, green palm trees, whitewashed buildings and clean white sand. I love sleeping listening to the sound of the Indian Ocean and feeling the sea breeze. I spent my birthday sitting in the town center, drinking coca cola baridi (cold) and watching all the activity, wandering the narrow streets,listening to the mix of swahili and arabic, replying to the kids' "jambo" (a short version of hello) and eating samosas.
Later I walked the beach and watched the sun set, a true magical birthday and one I will never forget.
Today I am back in Nairobi, saw my friend Warren last night, love traveling on public transportation with my passport, camera, credit card etc. so far so good though, still have them all. I will teach at nyumbani tonite, sleep there, have my meeting tomorrow again at the cdc, friday during the day I go to the city center for tea with my muslim friend muhammed, buy a certain little boy a very big carved giraffe then fly home on Friday night.
I will post pictures on Sunday. So strange to be here then so quickly back there.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little boy

More awake today.

2008-05-21T11:44:00.003+03:00

I had a good night sleep last night, jet lag really is so uncomfortable.
I had sort of forgotten (maybe I didn't want to remember!) how the internet here is such an issue, I had become spoiled at home again. It was down yesterday at Nyumbani and the one at the internet cafe was so slow it took forever. Today I get to use the one at AED, the American organization's offices, so I'm enjoying American speed again.
It's good being here. I feel very safe, everything feels pretty much the same. I'ts very expensive now though, I haven't really seen any food shortages but the price is definitely higher. Taxis are a lot more expensive (gas is cheaper here than in the US) so I had to get my matatu skills back quickly. People are quick to tell me I am safe, that everything is calm now. They are very curious as to what the rest of the world thought.
Nyumbani was great yesterday. I got there about 9 am, so most of the kids had left for school. I went first to the sickroom where I saw John and Sammy K. John was reading a book and didn't see me come in, I stood there and when he lowered the book he just looked absolutely stunned. Then he reached up his arms, got a big smile on his face and tears in his eyes. Brian came in because he wasn't feeling well and had stayed home from school. He stood there and looked like he couldn't believe his eyes. He too just wanted to be held for awhile. The little ones were at school in Nyumbani, again shock on their faces followed by big smiles and big hugs. Mark kept saying over and over Susan Gold Susan Gold.
The hard part about not staying at nyumbani is I'm not there at night. So, I won't be back there until tomorrow. Sr. Julie told me this morning that George asked her if it was true I was back! Hopefully tomorrow I will get there and spend more of the day and stay until early evening so I can see everyone.
The meetings are going well. more to come. It seems like I won't have to be here for as long as we thought when I come back. But, this is Africa,and everything changes all the time!
Pray for Sammy K, they fed him with the gravity feeding bags I brought and he seemed to tolerate it much better so had a much better night. But, it is clear to me he will not survive.
It's good to hear Swahili again, to see the smiles on the kids, to eat the samosas and drink citrus fanta!
I will blog again tomorrow or Friday.

Jet lagged in Kenya

2008-05-20T11:24:00.000+03:00

I and my luggage arrived last night. Flights were so crowded but got me here! My driver and Ann's sister Carol were there to meet me at the airport. We created quite a scene. So, I am now back in the land of slooooooow internet. I am rediscovering my patience skills. It's good to be back, partly feels like I never left, but then it's so exciting to see everyone again.
Now for the kids. Sammy K looks awful. He is really non responsive, curled in a fetal position, grinds his teeth. I don't know if he hears me or not. It is so sad.
John is his usual high spirited self, even with a cast up to his hip! Eunice is walking, Fidelis jumped up from her chair and threw herself in my arms.
I will update again after my meeting. I'm trying to stay awake.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy.

One month later

2008-05-16T02:33:00.002+03:00

I'm leaving on Sunday for Kenya. I fly out of Madison and land in Nairobi the evening (Kenya time) of Monday the 19th. I have meetings set up with the PEPFAR and AED staff on Wednesday morning. I won't be staying at Nyumbani, will be staying with friends, but will hightail it to Nyumbani on Tuesday morning. I'm bringing the usual assortment of goods and gifts. Most importantly, gravity feeding bags for Sammy K. He can't eat solids and they need a way to drip food into him so he tolerates it and doesn't vomit. Which is what he's been doing for days. A feeding pump is impractical because of electricity issues so this is a low-tech solution. The kids don't know I'm coming, it will be a great surprise and a very happy reunion.
My internet access will be limited but I will for sure (really!) let you all know how the reunion, meetings and Sammy are. I'm anxious to see him with my own American nurse eyes.

As Promised

2008-04-17T03:57:00.003+03:00

Well, I had the teleconference this morning. Of course it started 40 minutes later than I expected, but really that's not bad for Kenya! They told me they are committed to the project, recognize the uniqueness of my work and the great need for it. They are working on 5 different options for developing the project. They will have a plan before I arrive in May, meetings are scheduled for May 21st, with the final plan that I return around July 1st. I'm excited but also sad to think about leaving my family. That will never never be easy. There's so much to balance, I love the work I do there, I think it's important and it fully uses my skills. The work of starting a new organization in a developing country will give me so many new skills, open new doors and give me so many new experiences. But, it takes me half a world away from my family. If I stay here I know my work won't be fulfilling or allow me to grow. Again, this is never never easy.
Sad news. I talked to Beth, a volunteer who returned home last week after 10 months at Nyumbani. She said Sammy has had another stroke and is now completely paralyzed, most likely blind, unable to speak or eat. He also appears to cry out in pain a lot.
Before the second stroke he got the Hallmark cards we all sent, the ones with the music in them. She said he loved them, knew they were from us. He would play the music all the time, (which drove everyone crazy!) and wouldn't let anyone take them away from him. She said she talked to him all the time about me, that I was going to come back and help take care of him. That we loved him.

A Plan, Sort Of

2008-04-12T16:11:00.003+03:00

Ive been waiting until I heard something for sure, and one thing I learned in Kenya is you wait. and wait. Finally, some word has come through. I am having a teleconference on Wednesday morning with the PEPFAR folks, to discuss the "way forward." (That's a phrase you hear over and over) I am going on May 18th for 12 days. I need to check on Sammy, (haven't heard anything more from Nyumbani) see my Cottage D kids and finalize the plans I make on Wednesday. I'm hoping I will return to Kenya on July 1st to finish my work.
More details on Wednesday, promise!

Update on Sammy

2008-03-20T14:19:00.003+03:00

Dr. Jean B, a pediatrician from the UK, was able to return to Kenya last week. She and her husband, a micro economist, are there for 2 years with VSO, Volunteer Services Organization. She is the doctor who helped Ken so much at the end. They had been evacuated back to the UK when all the trouble happened but have now come back.
She emailed me this morning that she was able to examine Sammy, there also happened to be an American doctor visiting.
What she said was that he has had several strokes, due to the CMV and HIV. He is starting to recognize some people and say the "odd word." But, there has been extensive neurological damage and recovery is impossible. He is paralyzed. They also reviewed his ARV and viral load history, and the results of the tests that tested his virus against his ARVS.
There are no ARVs available in Kenya that will help him.
I don't know what to say.

A Little More News

2008-03-05T16:34:00.002+03:00

Sammy K is on the right medicine. They also were able to test his blood to see which ARVS would work the best against the strain of HIV he has. Hopefully the right ARVS will be available in Kenya or through PEPFAR. That would not be an issue in any Western country, he would have whatever he needed. It's only in the poor countries that the world thinks it's okay for children to not have access to what will keep them alive. Like medicine, food, clean water. Something to think about.
As the medicine he's on does his work he's suffering from seizures. Those are most likely caused by the disturbances in his brain caused by CMV. They are treating them, and hopefully they won't cause any further damage. He faces a long road back to what will still be an uncertain future. If your kids ever tell you life is unfair, tell them about Sammy.
The link to My Two Grandmas is for the best blankets ever. My niece makes them and all the kids in Cottage D have them and really love them. They come highly recommended!

Linking You Up

2008-03-03T16:02:00.002+03:00

Elizabeth showed me how to add links to other sites on my blog. So, now you can effortlessly get to Nyumbani, Elizabeth's blog, or apply for a Fulbright!
Sammy is on the right medicine, but is having some unpleasant side effects that include screaming. The good news is that he can obviously make noise again but he's still not speaking.
More snow here, and Ali will be learning to be a doctor at UW Medical School!

A Little More News

2008-02-27T19:06:00.002+03:00

Sammy K is hanging in there. I have not been able to find out if he's on the right medicine but I'm just hoping that he is. He is eating well, but very tired of not being able to communicate. Imagine.
I have heard from PEPFAR, most likely my return will be sometime in April. In the meantime I continue to do presentations wherever I'm asked. People have been so generous, we still need some more funding but I think we will meet our goal.
The coolest thing is that I've been able to present in 2 schools, with one more scheduled. All the schools are doing fund raising, so it's not just adults with checkbooks it's American kids helping Kenyan kids. What can be better than that for everyone?
(remember Nyumbani.org in the comment section earmark the funds for Visit US)

Sammy News (especially for Dylan)

2008-02-21T06:24:00.002+03:00

I got an email today from Sr. Julie at Nyumbani. I had sent her the suggestions, thoughts etc from Dr. Jim Conway, Pediatric Infectious Disease doc I work with. He thought one of a couple of different viruses were possibly causing the paralysis and other problems and he was right! He tested positive for CMV (cytomegalovirus) long name, but eventually treatable. He will need short term IV antiviral (not anti hiv med, another class of anti viral) and then long term oral therapy. The good news is that the damage is reversible if he gets the right treatment which Nyumbani will see that he does. Hopefully, all this will be done in time. He is not out of the woods, still needs your prayers and your love, but there is a light shining on him now.
I will keep you all informed. It truly takes a village to raise these children. But, they are so worth the effort!

Latest News

2008-02-18T18:05:00.003+03:00

Lots to tell you about. I really hope people are still reading, I know I haven't been posting much but it's been hard getting the news. First, safety issues. Kids in Nyumbani and Village are all safe, kids in slums still continue to struggle. I heard this morning that Rosalia's family has been displaced and her brother shot. They are trying to get me more details. I can't even imagine how frightened she is.
The Americans are all safe, still doing their work. PEPFAR is still working on my project plans and return. The money has been budgeted but my return is at minimum weeks away. So frustrating.
Negotiations with the government for a political solution are ongoing and seem somewhat promising. Nothing like African politics!
One of the D boys, Sammy K is not doing well. It appears he lost sight in his right eye a few weeks ago and last Sunday became paralyzed on his right side, can't speak and has right hand tremors. He is sleeping a lot and appears to not be in any pain. When he's awake he eats and drinks, but really can't communicate. He is the most loving sweet not complaining boy. I will never understand why the children of Kenya suffer so much. His ARVS are not containing his virus anymore. I can't bear the thought of losing another Cottage D boy. I don't know how the kids will ever recover, how they can suffer so much loss and still go on.
I am continuing my fund raising to bring them here for a visit, I am blessed with all your generosity and I pray that Sammy recovers and gets to come too. My heart will be so lightened when I turn them over to American doctors.
To donate go to Nyumbani.org and earmark funds for Visit US!
Good family news: it's a girl! on the way for Elizabeth and Brandon and Ali has also been accepted at UW Medical School. Officer Tim and Liz are the proud owners of a beagle puppy named Bailey. Little boy is talking and growing like a weed. All my kids could actually be back in Wisconsin, while I'm in Kenya!

Good news, Bad news, Great news

2008-01-30T16:39:00.000+03:00

First the great news, Elizabeth is having a baby girl!!! They had an ultrasound, she's perfect and female! Due date is June 13th. We are all excited and anxious to welcome her.
The bad news is that the turmoil continues in Kenya with no real solution in sight. Despite the efforts of the international community and Kofi Annan the violence continues. It has degenerated into tribal conflict under the guise of political unrest. Long standing tribal issues and hatreds have been unleashed and the innocent suffer. The rape rate has greatly increased, people have no access to their medications so the death rate from HIV will increase as their virus becomes resistant and the infection rate will rise. The long term implications of all this will go on for generations. My return is still on hold, I am determined at some point to go back to do the work that will be even more important but at this point it's not safe. The kids in the orphanage and the village are still safe, the kids in the slums are not. Some have been found, many have scattered. Please pray for all of them.
Now the good news. I decided that while I was here I would use my time wisely. You all know how much my D boys mean to me, John, George, Brian and Sammy K. Well, with the help of the orphanage staff, Sr. Mary's and the American board of Nyumbani's approval I am bringing them to the US in December for a visit!!!! Nicholas has agreed to accompany them (4 boys who have never traveled? He's quite brave!). They will be here for about 3 weeks and we hope to travel from Madison through Iowa, Milwaukee Chicago to Washington DC, and New York. What I will need is help with the airfare. We are arranging for them to get medical care, George has a terrible cough, Sammy's eyes hurt all the time, John has had 2 surgeries on his leg. They are all well enough to travel but there would be long term benefit from the care we could give them here. People have asked if it would be cruel to bring them here and then send them back. Kenya is their home, other Nyumbani kids who have traveled overseas had no problem going back to Nyumbani and sharing their experiences. They will have so much to tell their friends and their mums. They can tell them that people here love and care about them, that there's a whole world out there that if they do well in school and take their meds they can take their place in that world.
We chose December because they know summer and they want to know what winter is. Whatever it takes we will find them some snow! They won't know until a few weeks before they leave that they are coming, things are obviously usually too uncertain and we don't want any disappointed kids. Protus is now working on getting birth certificates which will allow them to get passports. We're hoping visas won't be too difficult with all the connections we have.
If you would like to help (and please do!) you can make a tax deductible donation through the Nyumbani.org website, under comments earmark the funds for Visit US
There are 4 boys whose lives you can change, and you can hopefully meet them too!

Watching and Waiting

2008-01-14T16:43:00.000+03:00

This will be a big week in Kenya's history. The opposition has called for protests on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. They will either be peaceful or a bloodbath. If chaos results I'm sure it will impact my future plans.
Warren is back in Nairobi, says he is well but shell shocked from his experience in Kericho. My friend Mary's husband Richard emailed and said they have been fine, used the $30 taxi to get to the airport rather than the $750 military escort and arrived there without any problems. They live in Karen, where the orphanage is, and have been barely touched by the violence. The Hardisons, who run the mission hospital up by Kisumo, were evacuated to Nairobi, and say they are safe, well rested and well fed. Like everywhere in the world, what you see depends on where you stand.
Watch the news, watch the blog. And pray.

One step forward 2 steps back

2008-01-09T17:49:00.000+03:00

So, for a awhile the news was good, things had settled down and there seemed to be some progress in coming up with a peaceful solution. I have been in touch with Warren and Nicholas, they're in different areas of the country so have different perspectives. Both were feeling very optimistic and starting to venture a little farther out from where they were hunkered down. Then, the president appointed a cabinet full of his tribal members and the opposition leader refused to meet with him. Violence again.
As all this plays out against the background of our own electoral process I have learned so much about what it takes to make a democracy work, it's more than just a trip to a voting booth. The lack of leadership in Kenya has chilling implications for the ability of tribes to live together peacefully.
The hardest thing is the implications for all this in terms of the country's economy, tourism and most poignantly, the lives of it's children. The HIV+ children enrolled in our Lea Toto program are now scattered and out of their ARV medication. Time off from the meds greatly increases the risk of resistance and due to the limited availability of drugs in Africa will certainly lead to the death of many.
My own plans, like those of many people, are pretty much on hold. I will go back when the US Embassy says it is safe. In the meantime, I have decided to use my time wisely and have come up with a plan for my D boys. Stay tuned for details...................

Watching It All

2008-01-03T04:06:00.000+03:00

Things are still very bad in Kenya. I have been able to talk to an exhausted heart broken Warren. The compound in Kericho where I taught is now home to 1500 frightened Kikuyu. The IU program is evacuated out of Eldoret. Nairobi continues to self destruct. No one knows how or when this will end. I have been in touch with mum Anne's family and Nicholas. All are safe, the volunteers in Nyumbani are staying behind the guarded gates, all are facing food and water shortages. I look at the plenty around me and feel ashamed of all I have here. I watch on the news and see the streets I walked many times. I think of all the shopkeepers I met and got to know and wonder if their stores still exist. I worry about all the kids (3000) who come to the Lea Toto clinics in the slums and know that for now they won't see doctors and nurses when they're sick and won't get their next month's ARVS, and that could literally kill them. I have no idea where or how Rosalia is, she lives in Kibera where there has been much violence. How frightened they all must be. When Dr. Jim Conway was visiting me we walked through Kibera together and wondered why it hadn't erupted, a million people living in extreme poverty I couldn't begin to describe. We wondered what the spark would be that would set it all off. Now we know.
Please keep all of them in your thoughts and prayers, I will keep you updated.

Kenya in chaos

2007-12-31T04:51:00.000+03:00

It's Sunday night, just had dinner with great friends. Went to church this morning met Officer Tim and Liz for breakfast, enjoyed time with them in their apartment. It's snowing here, which it seems to have done almost every day since I got home! All is peaceful here, it's hard to believe that Kenya seems like it's imploding. The presidential elections were on Thursday and they had a record turn out. Everyone was so proud, it was democracy at it's best. Then when it appeared that the incumbent, President Kibaki, was losing, suddenly the results were late in coming. People quickly decided that the election was being stolen, (who knows the truth) and all hell broke loose. I have been receiving phone calls and texts from friends there, there are riots everywhere, killings, fires. Today they declared Kibaki the winner and he was sworn in, that escalated everything. There is talk about evacuating Americans. This is the text I received from my friend Warren in Kericho: This has been total war. I've been putting our fires, carrying babies to safety. It's so sad. I don't know what to say Kenya is up in flames.
As usual my heart is in two places. I don't want to be in danger but it's so hard to be away from my friends there and the kids. Many of the Nyumbani kids are out of Nyumbani staying with extended family, I pray they are safe. All over they are running out of water and food. Many people have been killed. The violence is all over, heavy in Nairobi.
This is a country and a people I came to love. A part of me is home there. This is why things are so hard and complicated in Africa, the rampant corruption, the lack of leadership, the peoples' lack of hope and confidence. As I struggle to find the latest news I see too the world's indifference, it's what we expect so we don't find it too newsworthy. But for me it will never be the same because for me there are faces and names.
No matter what you might think of George Bush we should all be grateful that come Inauguration Day he will get on a plane and fly away. And we don't have to be afraid.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-26T21:13:00.000+03:00

I hope that some of you are still reading! Lots of news to tell you. First, the Nyumbani news. The kids all had a good Christmas. President Kibaki and First Lady Lucy came and spent time, of course they were late and the kids had to wait all day. Some things never change!

John in Cottage D had surgery on his leg 2 days after I left. Neither he nor I had any idea it was going to happen. A visiting surgeon from Italy arranged for it. It went well but he is confined to a wheel chair and the cottage for 5 weeks. Not easy for a very active boy. We called him Christmas night and all got to say hello. It was so good to hear his voice and I know he loved the sense of a family to call and talk with. I miss all of the kids so much, and being back with y family makes it even more clear to me how painful it is for all of them to not have family.

My niece had sent me fleece blankets for the new kids, Paul, Eunice and Fidelis. They loved them, those blankets have made a huge difference in the lives of the kids. It's not just that they keep them warm, it's that they are theirs. They can point to something and say mine, they don't have to share. And it's proof that someone in the world cares about them. If you would like to get some for yourselves or family the website is

my2grandmas.com Best blankets ever!~

Other family news: Elizabeth is pregnant with baby number 2!!!!!!!! She is due June 17th, 11 days before Tim and Liz's wedding. Ali was accepted at George Washington University Medical School! She is living proof that if you want something enough you can find a way to make it happen, dream big and never give up.

My news is that I might be heading back to Kenya in a few months! PEPFAR (the president's emergency plan for aids relief) has asked me to come back and set up my project as an organization that we will turn over to the Kenyans in January 2009!! It is a huge honor and a hard decision, hardest ever. But, it's a way to see that my work goes on. I will post more details soon I promise! I know you've heard that before I guess I am turning Kenyan!

Being home

2007-12-08T18:43:00.000+03:00

Sorry it has taken so long to do this, it's been busy and hard. I needed time to let things settle down here and there and figure out what I thought about everything. So, I'm sitting here with my really FAST computer, listening to Christmas carols, eating a morning bun, drinking hot real coffee, life is good! To the beginning:
Leaving Nyumbani was so hard. The last few days were a whirlwind of goodbyes, Sunday morning was the 1 year memorial mass for Fr. D'Ag. Protus asked me to speak, got through it without tears. Spent the day packing, how did I get so much stuff? My favorite taxi driver, Mike, came to say goodbye, bringing gifts and his girlfriend, he said that I was his most favorite mzungu customer, but I was very serious about time! We both cried. Leaving the kids was heart wrenching, we gathered in the cottage, tears flowing, I gave each a hug and a kiss in their hand to keep forever and use if they needed it. The boys, all crying, John, Sammy, Brian and George walked me to the pick up truck, John holding on tight. George said he couldn't sleep without a back rub, I told him I'd left instructions for the new volunteer, Sammy wanted to know what would happen if he got sick again, I reassured him that his new medicine was working, Brian was so quiet, John looked up and whispered "Susan please don't go" My heart was breaking. I promised over and over I would be back.
And I was gone.
I cried when the plane took off and flew over Nyumbani. Slept for awhile, woke up feeling sad but excited to be heading home and seeing my family. The Amsterdam airport was overwhelming, lots of white people and of all things Christmas decorations! Every leg of the trip I felt a little better and felt my head turning towards home.
Got to fly first class from Minneapolis to Madison, the 45" leg, where were they for the 9 hour legs! and was so happy to look down the stairs and see my family and friends waiting for me. The biggest surprise was Ali was there! She had flown in from DC so we were actually all together, it was wonderful. They all said I looked like a dirty hippie, which I admit I did. Jack looked and looked at me then took my hand and walked to baggage claim with me. I really think he remembered me. He's such a little boy! Officer Tim was there safe and sound. But it was so cold! I've been shivering since I got off the plane.
Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful, especially because Liz and Brandon announced that baby #2 is due in June! They've known for a while but wanted to wait until I got home, a wonderful homecoming gift.
Then I got the news about the boys in the village..... it had rained, which it only does a few times a year there and a group of kids had gone, unbeknown to the adults, to swim in a sand dam. One of the boys got in trouble, nobody knows how to swim, the other boy jumped in to save him and they both drowned. Their names are Mutisya and Mwoki, it's important to me that these kids always have a name for the rest of the world.
I'm back at work, now working in the allergy clinic. The staff has been incredibly welcoming and gracious to me. I told them they could tell me to cut the Kenya whenever! It's a lot of new to learn but it's good for me. A fresh start, but lots of changes in my life these past few weeks.
What I love: I see my family and friends all the time, I'm clean! all the time! I walk on sidewalks, I drive my car on the right side of the road, I watch the news on TV, I feel safe all the time, even when I'm out after dark. amazing bathrooms everywhere, snow almost everyday! we have 15" here. the newspaper and coffee in the morning.
What I miss: all the kids and my friends, the sun! voice of America and the global news, the work I did there, the sense that time is a suggestion not an absolute, how nobody whines-no matter how desperate their situation is, the sound of Swahili and African music. and yes, the matatus.
What is hard to deal with here: There are a lot of white people here! you have to be on time, you have to move fast, you have to listen to people complain about the most insignificant things like they really matter, the houses are so big and the cars so fancy, the lack of gratitude and the constant need for more, that Kenya is so so far away. That 10 months could go by so quickly.
I will keep up the blog with news of the kids etc. It's good to be home.

Tragedy in the Village

2007-11-24T18:47:00.000+03:00

This morning I received word that 2 of the children in the Village drowned. It had finally been raining there and they were playing in a sand dam and drowned. I talked to Nicholas but the connection was poor and I didn't get any details. He sounds terrible, and since he always takes responsibility for everything I know this is hitting him very hard. It's a lonely job being the chief. This makes me so sad, I can't imagine the pain and the grief of all the families there. The kids are all very close. I'm happy to be home but my heart is there.
I will put more details on the blog when I get them, and more details of my homecoming soon. It's just hard now, as happy as I am being with my family it also feels a little like I'm in the wrong place.

I'm Coming Home

2007-11-18T16:19:00.000+03:00

This has been the hardest best thing I've ever done.

Saturday Night

2007-11-17T20:46:00.000+03:00

Just had a great good bye dinner at the Rusty Nail,(only here would they celebrate the cause of tetanus) back in time to tuck the D kids into bed. The boys are having a hard time, there were some tears. I reminded them that I promised before I would come back and I did and I will again.
Spent the day in town, last matatu rides, stopped by and said goodbye to Heather and Augustus, the people at the post office, the cyber cafe, the taxi drivers.... everyone who is part of my life here.
Here's 2 funny things: one day my old roommate Keirsten and I were on the matatu to town when I had to tell her that I thought I was hallucinating could she look out the window and confirm what I thought I was seeing. It was real, 4 camels walking down the middle of the road.
When we were leaving the cemetery the other day we saw a big warthog roaming around and eating the flowers off the graves.
24 hours to go.
Stay safe Officer Tim x0x0x0 Little Boy

The Philosophical Entry

2007-11-16T21:36:00.000+03:00

Amongst all the frantic running around saying goodbye I’ve actually had time to sit and think about all the things I’ve learned these past 10 months. I learned I could do it. 10 months ago I didn’t know how I could bear to be away from my family and my life. The culture shock of being here again, getting used to how things are, the sheer distance, seemed insurmountable. But I did it. And it wasn’t always easy and fun. I can be on my own. I have the life skills to live independently, even competently, phone issues notwithstanding. But a big part of who I am is the people I love. That’s what makes coming here and leaving here so wrenching. Sunday nights are the hardest, everyone is home with their family and I’m here in my room alone. Then I mention it to a friend here and suddenly I have an invitation every Sunday night for dinner. The kindness of people is to be cherished.
Time offers you all sorts of opportunities. I think of all the relationships I’ve developed, some quite unexpected, and the conversations and things I’ve learned that have resulted. All because the Fulbright gave me time to live here, not just visit here.
I can take being hungry, and dirty, and a curiosity, but it all goes down better if you remember to laugh. And you always need to remember that what is “an experience” for me is their life. I get to get off the matatu and on a plane, they don’t.
The expertise I came with and that I developed is best shared, that is the value of me being here. I can’t live my life knowing I have skills that I keep to myself or for myself. That just seems wrong for me, I don’t want to be the one that does it all, I want to be the one that gives back so they do it all. That’s where the meaning of my education and my opportunities is found for me. Everyday I am thankful for the chance to live what I believe.
I’ve learned that restaurants and cabs are expensive but sometimes you just need them, that they play the Kenyan national anthem at the start of every movie and you all have to stand up, that a hot shower and electricity is a gift not a right, that when you pay by the minute you talk faster, that a backrub lets a child have a more peaceful night sleep, that the American Embassy is home, that 23 year old roommantes are quite fun, that Lamu is like no place on earth, that we are all more alike than different and we all want the same thing: to be safe healthy and happy and to know the truth.
That it’s a thousand times worse to watch a child suffer than to watch a child die.
48 hours to go.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little boy

The Last Little Details

2007-11-15T21:03:00.000+03:00

I have been heading all over town, meetings, finishing things up, saying goodbye. It's physically and emotionally exhausting but it also feels good to put an end to some things. Today a friend took me to Ken's grave and I said goodbye. I needed to do that, and it somehow makes leaving easier having done that. We then went to a lovely outdoor restaurant where she treated me to lunch., don't think I'll be eating outside for vere much longer. My favorite taxi driver took me to Kangemi to meet with Nicholas, my great friend and the head of the village and lea toto programs. As usual I arrived before he did so my driver Mike and I went to get a coke and visit for awhile. had to drive forever thorugh the slum down dirt rutted streets crowded with animals and people and music, finally arrived at a place with cold Coke but we had to drink it in the car, no safe place for me to be. Still, we had a lot of laughs and talked about all sorts of stuff. I told him how in the US we could find a Starbucks or a McDonalds just minutes away. He thought that was pretty cool.
Ended the evening with backrubs for all my D boys.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little Boy

The Jukumu Letu Tour Stop

2007-11-14T06:55:00.000+03:00

Spent yesterday at the daycare center. My cousin Pete donated enough money to pay for food for the kids for a month! They all shouted a loud Asante Sana to him. They've had 5 new admissions so I was able to do admission exams on them, there are now 52 children under the age of 4 enrolled. 2 of the new kids are sibling girls, 3 1/2 and 1/1/2. Their mother had kept them locked alone in their hut everyday while she looked for work. When she found work it paid about $1 for hours of hard labor. The older child cared for the younger one. Being connected to the daycare will very likely save their lives. Examining them was one of those personal and professional experiences that will alter my heart forever, words can't describe it.
Caroline has done such a fantastic job there, her center is now a cornerstone of the Ngong slum. It has been an honor to have been a part of it.
Today it's a big meeting with PEPFAR staff, picture taking with the D kids. They're clinging tight.
I hope you enjoyed the video, the correct website though is nyumbani.org
More tomorrow.
Stay safe Offficer Tim xoxoxo Little Boy

Kind Moments

2007-11-13T07:39:00.000+03:00

Over the weekend we had some very special guests here at Nyumbani. There was a volunteer here in 2002, a young American nurse named Mia. A few days before she was supposed to go home she got malaria. The medicine she took interacted with medicine she was already on and she had a cardiac reaction and died. This past weekend her mom and dad, sister, brother, sister in law and aunt came to visit. They were seeing Nyumbani for the first time, where she lived, the children she cared for, the hospital she was taken to and where she died. They met Protus, who called them at 2 in the morning with the awful news. It was my job to welcome them here and start the visit. It was actually a tearful healing weekend for them, they loved it here and could see why she did. So many of the children remembered her, and shared their memories. We had a very special Sunday Mass where everyone prayed together and felt her spirit here. Sunday night they took all the volunteers and senior staff out to dinner. They left Monday morning more whole they said than when they arrived.
Sunday afternoon I spent with Warren, the former PEPFAR staff from Kericho. He is 32, arrived 5 years ago as a Peace Corp volunteer and is now a well respected member of the international aid force here. He is now with CDC and is in Karen taking a course on international diplomacy and emergency humanitarian relief. (I want to take that course!) Anyway, we have become great friends and he has been a tremendous resource for me. We matatued to the Sunday outdoor Masai market so I could finish up some shopping. He is fluent in Swahili. While we were walking to the market we were approached by 2 young street boys. There are many begging street children by there and it's always so difficult. If you give money to one you are quickly overwhelmed by many. Then there's the questions about whether you should even give money, or should you give food? (I will be relieved to be where just going to the store doesn't involve an ethical dilemma.) Most people, including me,just don't make eye contact and walk on by. It was so touching to watch how Warren dealt with them. They were fitlhy dirty, looked about 8-10 and were brothers. They had walked all the way from Kibera, many miles. He drew them aside, put his arm around them,talked softly to them in Swahili. He told them to watch for us to come out of the market. When we did he again spent time talking to them, and arranged for them to meet us after we had lunch. We went across the street and ate, then he called them over to the parking lot, out of sight of everyone on the street. Again, he spent time talking to them, his arms around them drawing them close. You could see them respond to the attention, to being treated like human children. He then handed them a bag of food he had bought for them and told them to go home and eat it, so they wouldn't have to share it with the other street kids, they could share it with the rest of their family. As we walked back to Ngong Rd to get the matatu they walked ahead of us, their arms around each other.
One thing I have seen here is that the children take care of each other, better than their families or the world take care of them. 5 days to go
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little Boy

Video of Village Library Dedication

2007-11-12T01:22:00.000+03:00

The Farewell Tour

2007-11-11T22:59:00.000+03:00

It’s Sunday night and I’m sitting outside my room in capris and a t shirt. I can only imagine how cold I will be next week. A week from right now I will on the plane waiting to take off. The flight leaves at 10:20 and every night I hear it fly over Nyumbani. I will tell the kids that, and they will know that’s me saying one last goodbye.
It’s been a great week, the start of the farewell tour. I went to the village on Thursday morning, we saw about a dozen giraffe in the wild! Nicholas, the director of the village and a great friend had arranged the official opening of the library. I shelved the last 2 boxes, it looks great, then the kids came in and sang and danced. They all thanked me and the kids from America. The good news is there was a photographer there who took a video and is putting it on my blog, should be up in the next day or 2. Enjoy! I won’t be able to see it until I get home. Later that day we distributed the clothes that Elvehejm School in Madison and Alpha Omega Epsilon had collected and sent. A big asante sana to Ashley who did all the work and got them here. We put them out and let the kids pick, they had never seen such an array and had great fun trying them all on. Later as I walked through the village they were already wearing them. It was hard to say goodbye the next morning, I love walking through there and hearing people call out my name. It is another place I get to call home.
Michael the photographer and Jen the journalist and I matatued back to Nairobi. That was quite an adventure. The Nyumbani driver took us to the road from the village, with numerous stops along the way. He then waited until the matatu came, and negotiated with the driver. After reaching a fair price and assurance that the matatu was indeed going all the way to Nairobi we went to get on. As we crossed the road they opened the tail gate and from a space no bigger than 6” wide out came a goat! At least it got out before we got in. We traveled to the town of Machakos picking up all sorts of people on the way, where we were informed that it was no longer going to Nairobi, we would have to take a bus the rest of the way. We were parked in a crowded open market area, lots of people, music playing, lots of vehicles. The driver led us to a bus and then proceeded to get into a fist fight with another bus driver who wanted us to go on his bus. After it was settled, and we chose the bus without the 70 live chickens tied to the top we were finally on our way. Only to realize that one of the passengers was a preacher who proceeded to preach in a very loud voice for the next hour. We finally made it to Nairobi 3 hours later only to sit in traffic. I pretty much crawled back into Nyumbani! To be greeted with a big hug and kiss from Sammy K. All the Kenyans here were very impressed that I had done it, they tell me that I am a true Kenyan now. All it takes is a long matatu ride and having at least one phone stolen!
More tomorrow, there is a lot more to say.Watch for the video.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little boy

Pictures

2007-11-06T19:26:00.000+03:00

For some reason I can't get the text to line up by the pictures... so here is what you are looking at:
Me and Mary's mom
Making mukimu (potatoes, green maize, peas)
Fidelis
Eunice and me on the day she arrived. First mizungu she's ever seen!
Eunice and her new big brother, John

Dwindling Days

2007-11-05T08:17:00.000+03:00

Every time I look at the ticker at the top of the blog and see the numbers getting smaller it gives me a jolt. I can’t believe how little time is left but how good it will feel to sit down to Thanksgiving dinner with my family.
I am continuing to wind things up, lots of meetings. Went to the US Embassy for a town hall meeting with the ambassador. It was pretty interesting, he discussed security ( no real improvement,) street crime is still very common but doesn't seemed to be directed at Americans or other foreigners. It's more if you have a nice car, mobile phone etc., the upcoming Kenyan presidential elections (expect sporadic tribal violence but generally free and fair) Americans get an 85% approval rating from Kenyans, but that doesn’t include the current American govt. (no surprise there), American aid accounts for 16% of Kenya’s GDP. He also said about one American a week dies in an MVA here, considering the state of the roads that is really not a surprise either.
My roommate, Kiersten, left at 6 this morning. It was hard to see her go, as crowded as the room gets all my roommates have become great friends. It’s one of the best things about volunteering at Nyumbani, you meet all kinds of people you never would have the opportunity to befriend at home. All the young ones provide invaluable computer help.
I spent 3 days watching 16 month old Augustus, it was great fun. He is a great kid and reminds me a lot of Jack.
On a sadder note we have lost 13 children in the past 3 weeks in the Lea Toto clinics. HIV continues to take a terrible toll on the children in the slums. We have almost 3000 children we care for but only about 800 are on ARVS. TB is also a big problem and adds to the mortality rate, especially for + kids. Sometimes the unfairness of life is unbearable.
A few weeks ago I went upcountry with a friend and her husband. I met Mary, a retired counselor, on the city bus. They took me to meet her mother, who is in her 80’s and still lives alone in a little farm on the side of a really big hill. From the top of the hill I could see Mt. Kenya! All her neighbors came to greet me and they made me a wonderful lunch. They killed a chicken and cooked it, taught me how to make mukimo, and oohed over the pictures of my family that I brought. I had brought her some lotions and fancy soap which she proudly displayed for everyone They spoke very little English but with Mary translating and lots of sign language we had quite a great time. I asked her mom how she got water, food etc because it’s really a long hike up. She said that she depends on neighbors because she has pain in her knees and can no longer go down the hill. So she’s pretty much confined to her farm which is very isolating. I asked if she had seen a doctor and they all laughed and said the nearest doctor is many many hours away and nobody can afford to go. I also had some Advil with me and figuring she had arthritis I gave it to her and told her how to take it. I spoke with Mary the other day and she said her mom was delighted, the pain in her knees was gone and she could now go up and down the hill!! A simple cheap intervention and it changed a life. Mary said if I ever go back there the line to see me will be up and down the hill!
I am going to the Village on Wednesday for 3 days to finish up there, officially open the library and bring 2 big boxes of clothes donated by one of the Madison schools and a UW sorority. The kids are going to love those. They wear their school uniforms all the time because they don’t really have anything else. There are now 208 children living there, 130 on a waiting list. They are getting ready to build 50 more houses. It’s a hard drive to get there but Nyumbani has the best drivers, no worries.
Elizabeth is going to post pictures for me tomorrow, you'll see new D girls!
Counting down.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little Boy

The Home Stretch

2007-10-25T10:07:00.000+03:00

My friend Barb left last night after a great 10 days here. We went to the daycare center where I took care of the kids and because she is a gynecologist she saw all the women. They were so grateful to have a woman physician to see, they don't have access to those kinds of doctors. (good and female and free). We spent some time in the slums, always an eye opening experience for people new to Africa. It is so good to look around the center and see pictures on the walls, the kids in clean clothes, toys all over, medical charts and supplies and know it's from my family and friends. Asante sana everyone.
After safari we went to Lamu, truly my most favorite place on earth, for 4 days. The ocean was warm and beautiful, the hotel was perfect. I can't describe how quiet and peaceful but so much fun it is. The website for the hotel is www.peponi-lamu check it out! The house next door to the hotel is owned by Princess Caroline of Monaco, she and her family are frequent visitors. I totally understand why, the hard part is leaving there!
Yesterday before she left we went on a tour of the Nairobi Women's Hospital. It was opened in 2001 has 57 beds, specializes in sexual assault and gender violence victims. They treat about 15 new victims per day, the very sad thing is that many of them are very young children. Quite a contrast from Lamu, Kenya is such a contrast between good and evil.
Now I'm starting to wind things up. Thinking about how to pack, how to leave. I still have meetings to go to, have to do my final Fulbright report, need to spend time in the village officially opening the library, (they left me 2 boxes to shelve) I'm babysitting Augustus, the other Fulbrighter's baby for 3 days. That will get me ready to see Jack! I'm spending lots of time with the D kids, just being here.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little Boy

Saw everything but rhinos and leopards.

2007-10-18T20:55:00.000+03:00

Sorry for the silence. I have been very busy as time is really getting short now. Lots of loose ends to tie up. My friend Barb is here, so we are doing some traveling. We just got back today from the Masai Mara where we had a great safari. I have meetings tomorrow then on Saturday we take off for Lamu for 4 days. She leaves next Wednesday. I will catch up then. Kids in D are great, Eunice is shrieking with laughter, sitting up on her own, and babbles all day long. Fidelis is loving going to school every morning and spends hours everynight coloring and doing "homework." the other night when I was tucking her in she looked up and said "good night" in English!!!! Amazing what loving care does for a child.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little boy

Yet Another Girl!

2007-10-08T09:00:00.000+03:00

We had another admission to Cottage D, 4 year old Fidelis. She arrived last week, her parents are dead, she and her brother had been living with their grandparents. However, they are quite elderly and her grandmother has what sounds like Alzheimers and the burden was way too great for the grandfather. She speaks only her mother tongue, Kikuyu, and is very shy. She seems pretty healthy and has been on ARVS. What a difference those medications make. We had her welcome to Cottage D party yesterday afternoon, she seems to be settling in. When I think of all the resources available to kids in the Western world and what these kids manage to deal with on their own it's very humbling. Every bed in the cottage is now full so that should be it for awhile for us. The sad thing is there seems to be a never ending supply of HIV+ orphans to fill the beds. One night a group of us
sat around and talked about what it will take to change that. There is a real push by institutions and the government to reintegrate orphans with their extended families. It's a huge struggle because the families are often destitute, can barely take care of their own, and the stigma is still so prevalent. For many of these kids it's a children's home or death.
Election year politics are all the news here. President Kibaki is running for his second 5 year term. He has done some good things, the economy is growing though half the population live in extreme poverty. Primary education is free though the standards and resources are generally dismal. The big complaint is that the rich have gotten richer, the poorer are poorer (sound familiar?) and corruption is still rampant. The opposition is currently in the lead. People are actually very well informed here and follow it very closely. There has been some violence, we stay away when we know there are demonstrations, you can feel the tension rise as election day draws near. It is scheduled for sometime in December, Kibaki hasn't announced the date yet, one of the incumbent perks! This democracy is only 43 years old, it's interesting to see it evolve.
My big complaint with the government, besides the state of the roads,is the lack of leadership in regards to HIV/AIDS. If they publicly addressed the issues and set better examples I think it would go a long way in fostering some much needed change.
Wednesday is a public holiday here, Moi day. He was their second president, he ruled for 24 years and totally raped the country. But,he did leave peacefully so maybe that's what they're celebrating.
Stay safe Officer Tim and xoxoxo little boy

It's A Girl!!!

2007-10-01T09:58:00.000+03:00

I have the honor of announcing a new addition to Cottage D! On Friday a 6 month old baby girl, Eunice, came to us from Kenyatta National Hospital. Her mother died in childbirth, (like 150,000 African women a year) and she was abandoned there. She laid naked in a crib for 6 months, they don't have diapers or clothes for all the babies there. She was alone in the crib because she is HIV+, the negative ones share. She has been on ARVS and is very healthy, actually a little chubby! She smiles, looks around a lot,she doesn't babble, sit up or roll over but we're already working on that. She sucks her thumb.
I was taking care of the D kids on Friday afternoon while Mum Terry was at a meeting when the social worker brought her. The kids were sleeping and as each one woke up I laid her next to them and said "meet your new baby sister." They all cried. They have had so much loss in their life, D has lost 3 boys in 3 years. This baby was a gift to us.
On Saturday night we had a welcome to D party for her, we made brownies from a mix Beck had brought, had fanta soda!!! and officially introduced her to all her new siblings and mums. It was a wonderful joyous night, we sang and danced and cuddled her. Who knows what's going on in her head, she probably thinks she landed in Disneyworld! But she is so loved.
Pictures as soon as I can.

Moving On

2007-09-24T16:45:00.000+03:00

We have had horrendous internet issues here, so frustrating. No more uploading pictures for a while, it really did crash the system! We've had no access for days on end and intermittent when it does appear. I have had to make numerous trips to karen with my computer in my backpack to try and hook up at the internet cafe there, which is even slower than here. One of the things I definitely won't miss.
I've had a good couple of weeks, 2 of my cousins came for a one day visit,a safari stopover. It was great fun, they showed me the luxury side of Kenya, I took them to the slums! They stayed at the Giraffe Manor, a hotel not far from here. It was in this British estate house, with giraffes all over. They stuck their heads in the window and took food right off of our plates! The food and ambience was amazing, a welcome break that I will be forever grateful to Carol and Pete for giving me. Carol is going to do a blog entry from the US so you will get the whole story and pictures from her.
The cottage is recovering from ken's death. We talk about it a lot and look at his picture. The night of his funeral we had a private cottage meeting., just the kids, me and mum terry. We prayed, sang, remembered. We decided that ken always wanted us to be a happy cottage so we will be one. They're working hard at it, but they need to see me every night, stick close and hug hard. They have lived through more than most people do in a lifetime.
This past weekend another volunteer beth and I spent the weekend at the home of the parents of one of Ali's coworkers who is Kenyan. It was a wonderful break, they were such gracious hosts. He was a Fulbright scholar to the US in 1966,it was an honor to be in his company. We had great food, interesting conversations, long walks,and hot showers! Fulbright is all about cultural interchange and that was the best.
A few things I will miss, the birds that fly right into my room and walk around, voice of America on the radio, (especially the show Border Crossings at night, great music), Al Jazeera news on TV when we are actually around a tv, the best samosas in the world.
Thank you for all your blog comments, brook in virgina welcome to the blog! Lauren thank you for sending healthy baby updates, they are food for my soul.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy

A Sad Farewell

2007-09-15T17:30:00.000+03:00

For two days it has been rainy, damp and gray here. Everyone has been wondering around kind of sad and lost. I could hear the big girls singing, preparing for the service. I have never seen such mud, and this is the time of year it's supposed to be warm and sunny. There's no hot water, I feel dirty, emotionally drained and just plain missing Ken. Just about everyday for 8 months I have checked on him and cared for him. There is a huge hole in my heart and in my day.
Today was his funeral, woke up to rain again. They brought his body back to Nyumbani in a plain little wooden coffin about 9:15 this morning. Mum Terry, Sr. Julie, myself and cottage D escorted it into the school room. The kids came from all over the compound and took their seats, with us closest to Ken. The music was haunting and sad, the tears flowed down their faces. These kids have been through so much loss, have so much uncertainty in their lives. The older kids have seen so many children die, they all fear they will be next. Fr. Ludwig did a great service, he cried too. The D kids did the readings, you would have been proud of how they did. Some of us said prayers, I prayed for all the volunteers all over the world who came to know and love Ken's spirit and light, that they continue to feel it and spread it, so that he is remembered and never forgotten around the world.
At the end of the service they opened this little door on top of the coffin and you could look through a little pane of glass at his face. That was weird. The kids all filed by, looking, rubbing their hands on the wood. When it was just the adults in the room Protus opened the coffin, (closed only by a hook and eye lock.) and I put in his DC hat, a letter I wrote him and a picture of his DC aunties.
Then we headed to the cemetery, about a 20 minute drive away. He got another ride in the new truck! When we arrived there we saw his open grave, in a children's section, 4 more empty ones waiting. It is row upon row of wooden crosses with children's names, sometimes only first names, often only the year of birth because they have been abandoned and nobody knew their birthday.
We sang and prayed, then everyone shoveled dirt. Most touching was the men of Nyumbani, the drivers, staff, how lovingly they filled in the grave,smoothed out the top, we placed all our flowers on it and then we left. How hard to leave him behind.
I gave Ignatius, his best friend, his watch from Susanne. He was so proud and touched, I don't think he will ever take it off either.
And now, life goes on. Thank you for all your support, it's meant a lot.

Kennady

2007-09-13T18:50:00.000+03:00

The words I always knew I would have to say. Ken died this morning. These last few weeks have been such a struggle for him as it became obvious he was losing the battle. His lungs were worse and worse, he was losing weight and losing the will to fight. Everything from eating to finding a comfortable position to breathing was getting harder and harder. One night he vomited all over his sweatshirt, but his IV was threaded through the sleeve. In order to take the sweatshirt off I had to disconnect the IV. Just as I got the IV apart the power went out. Had to do the rest by flashlight. He looked at me and said this is all too hard. Last Thursday night he was moved to the sick room with round the clock nursing care. On Friday they put another NG (down the nose to the stomach) tube in, over his very strenuous objections. The kids called it his pipe. Over the weekend the doctor that was covering for Nyumbani was from the UK. On Saturday she and I developed a tube feeding schedule so he was finally getting consistent nourishment. On Sunday she looked at his last 3 chest xrays and determined that he was suffering from TB. He was being treated for it when he came last January, completed treatment in June, but his August x-ray was clear that the TB had not been succesfully treated. While on the one hand it was bad news, the treatment would now have to be second line and he would need an injection everyday and where on his poor body would we put it? But, now we had the reason for the failure to thrive and the horrendous lung status. We felt he finally had a chance. Until this morning.
He was awake all night and very restless. I left Nyumbani early in the pouring rain to go help at one of the slum clinics. Shortly after arriving I got a call that he was worse, talking about dying, about his family, hallucinating and his breathing was deteriorating. I left the clinic and tried to get back as soon as I could, not an easy task in the pouring rain and traffic jams. He told Mercy, the Kenyan nurse, that he wanted to go back to his home, that nobody was there, he had seen both his parents and his brother die, but he wanted to be put in his bed and we shouldn't worry, he wouldn't be afraid. Mercy told him that we didn't have transport so then he asked Mum Terry to take him back to the cottage. While she was carrying him back he said "I'm not going to make it, I'm too sick. But John and George will make it." She brought him into the cottage and he looked all around, she laid him down, he was wrapped in the fleece blanket my niece Elizabeth made, his favorite one, wearing his watch from Susanne that he never took off with his DC sweatshirt next to him, and within a few minutes he died.
I arrived about a half hour later. Sr. Julie saw me coming down the driveway and came to meet me and I knew. I spent the rest of the day in the sickroom with his body. Some of the kids came in to say good bye. His best friend, Ignatius, is really struggling. One of the sweetest moments I have had here is one day we took the kids to a movie. Ken and Ignatius were walking down the hallway talking when Ken stopped because he was too tired to go on. Without breaking stride Ignatius bent down picked him up, put him on his hip and carried him, all the time they kept talking. They're the same age. This is what friends do. Ignatius would bring a bike over to the cottage and put Ken on the seat and ride him around the compound.
Ken loved the Nyumbani drivers, he told me once when he grew up he was going to be a driver and drive to Mombasa. He loved going for rides in the cars. This week we received 2 new trucks from USAID and Rotary Club. When it came time to take him to the mortuary we wrapped him up and laid him in the back seat of the new extended cab pick up truck. We all thought it was fitting his last ride was in the new truck he was so excited about. With one of his favorite drivers.
The kindness to me today from the staff was so touching. They would say sorry when they saw me and thank me for the care I gave him. Mum Gladys, who is in charge of laundry, saw how my only pair of khaki pants were covered to the knees in red mud from my frantic trip back. She took them and washed them and got all the mud out. The kids see so much loss, we are reassuring them that they are strong and healthy. I am so glad I'm here for the Cottage D kids. I told many of them, we've all been sad today. I have spent so much time with Ken these last few weeks, hours with him wrapped in his fleece blanket on my lap, how truly lucky I am.
His whole family is gone, I can't even fathom that. He didn't know his birthday,always said he was "tweleve." (pronounced just like that). He weighed 11kg when he died.
When I first arrived I gave Ken his Cottage D We are Family t-shirt, he had just arrived a few days before. He had never gotten a present before, his whole body was trembling with excitement. It was huge on him so he tucked it all in his pants. he had a smile that knocked your socks off, could be crabbier than anyone I ever met, could dance like you wouldn't believe. And he felt all of your love.
One of his DC aunties, (Ali and her 2 friends, Liz and Farya who he loved) Farya, said he died on the first day of Ramadan, a very blessed day, and that means he has a direct path to God.
Godspeed Ken (in the new truck)

Lamu

2007-09-08T12:22:00.000+03:00

This is the airport at Lamu. They wheel your luggage from the plane in a big wooden cart, unload it onto a concrete ledge. The greeter from the hotel is barefoot, carries your luggage in a small wooden cart and walks you down a sand path to an old jetty where his wooden boat (dhow) is waiting. They then take you across the water to the hotel. You can feel your blood pressure and stress level dropping with every minute.
This is the airport waiting room. sand floor, thatched roof. To weigh your luggage they hang it on a hook on a scale. Mostly mizungos fly there.
One of only 2 vehicles on the island, the other ways to get around are by foot, boat (dhow) or donkey. There's a district hospital on the island. one ATM, and occasional internet. It truly is entering into a different world. I think it is one of the most favorite places in the world that I've been

view from outside my room
Our hotel my room is on the second floor in the front corner. Down below is a restaurant, we would order and then they would bring the food up to us
Looking out from the common/dining area between our rooms
href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7RZZ7EMz4N0/RuJqalfoD0I/AAAAAAAAAO0/MXAVGj0pGQI/s1600-h/DSCF1260.jpg">
Night time on the vernadah of our hotel.

Kibera and Rosalia and her family

2007-09-08T11:58:00.000+03:00

We took these the day Dr. Jim and I visited Kibera to meet Rosalia and her family. That's her mom and her twin brother Titus. He is HIV-

Junior ambassadors

2007-09-01T17:20:00.000+03:00

On Wednesday I took 8 kids from Nyumbani and Rosalia to the US Embassy for the day. The kids were the ones with the highest academic scores for the last term, they ranged in age from 8-13. We picked Rosalia up the afternoon before in Kibera and she spent the night here at Nyumbani. We briefed them all the night before aboout what to expect. Some of them, when they heard American Embassy thought they were going to America!
They all had a great time starting with the security clearance procedure. They had never been wanded before or searched! I don't have pictures because you can't take cameras there. Their eyes were so big, we went first to the main lobby of the embassy where we were greeted by the cultural affairs and educational affairs attaches. They're the ones I report to, and have been so supportive of me. They loved the idea of bringing my Fulbright work right to the embassy. The kids were of course most enamoured by the bathroom, automatic flush toilets and motion sensor water! There were lots of bathroom visits, even had to send Justus the cultural attache after the boys when we heard they were playing with the spray in the boys room! Kids are the same all over.
The ambassador came down and spent about a half hour with the kids, he really enjoyed meeting them. The kids were charming and inquisitive and very well behaved. They took a picture of all of us, hopefully they will email it to me and I will post it. We had tea, watched a video about PEPFAR which the kids actually enjoyed and learned from. Then they played outside for awhile, needed to run off some energy. People were coming down and talking to us, commenting how you never see children there and how wonderful it was. Everyone was warm and welcoming. We then headed across the compound to the USAID building where we met the PEPFAR staff and people from USAID. The kids each said their name, age, what they want to be when they grow up and "thanks for the medicine." This is where all their ARVS come from. (We had talked here about how important it is for the kids to realize how hard people work to get them their meds, they don't just magically show up.) The staff was so touched, saying how they are so buried in paperwork and budgets, it meant so much to see children whose lives they had literally saved by their work. Soon the boys were wearing the mens' suitcoats, kids were sitting at desks playing with computers, making copies of their hands on the copiers. It was actually great fun. Then, the head of PEPFAR, Buck Buckingham, sat down with all of them sitting on the floor at his feet, and told them that he too is HIV+ and has taken "dawa" (medicine) for 18 years. He told them if they always take their dawa, take care of themselves, do well in school and work hard they can live a long healthy life. You could see in their faces what his words meant. I don't think they will ever forget it.
For lunch we had chicken and mashed potatoes!!! How did they know that's my favorite?! We all headed home with lots to think about, well fed, and for me very proud to be American.
On a sadder more frustrating note: Kennady is not doing well. He has been here for 8 months, has been on ARVS for all that time and his CD4 count is 35 and his weight is actually going down. He's withdrawn, has a bad pneumonia. We couldn't get an IV in so his meds are by injections. he has no fat or muscle, the needle hits bone. It makes me want to throw up when I do it, and he's screaming in pain. He is losing his will to live because he knows he is losing the battle. I think his body was just so damaged by the years of unchecked virus and severe malnutrition. I don't know what the answer is here. I fight for him when I can but it's the Kenyans call. Margaret all over again.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little boy

link to more village pictures

2007-08-25T20:57:00.000+03:00

Here is a link to the pictures that the husband of my fellow fulbrighter took a few weeks ago at the village. He's a professional photographer so they're great pics of the kids. http://www.flickr.com/photos/christopherelam/sets/72157601524563373/show/
thanks for the offer of donation, it was a blow to my bank account but worth every shilling! you can give it to tim and he can put it in my account. Thank you for thinking of me and your generosity.

Left Behind

2007-08-25T14:57:00.000+03:00

Before I left Wisconsin last January the mom of one of my patients asked what they could send for the kids here. After thinking about it I suggested kids' books because they all love to be read to. Imagine my surprise when she told me that the Prairie View Middle School in Sun Prairie Wi had collected 4000 books for the kids!!!! Yes, 4000! They fund raised and sorted and boxed up and shipped them here to me in early August. I had discussed their impending arrival with the Nyumbani management and after giving it a lot of thought I decided they should all go to the Nyumbani Village. The school is open there now, there are 177 orphans living there, with a target in the next 5 years of 1000. They had textbooks, many for the first time in their lives, but no real fun books to read. These are kids who have all been through the trauma of losing their parents, have been desperately poor, no food, no water, no bed , no house. Many have been raising siblings. They are so happy to be in the village, for many it's the first safety they've ever felt. And they want to learn, they are in the school even when it's not school time! I needed the books to go there, and they had a room they could turn into a library.
We had been told there were no customs fees on books, so when they arrived at the airport I was a little shocked that it would cost 39,000 shillings ($585.00) to pick them up. (bargained down from 44,000). Turns out there is an exemption but you can't apply for it until the cargo arrives, takes 3-4 months to get it and they charge exorbitant storage fees. So, it took 2 days but I was able to withdraw enough to pay the bill. We took the Nyumbani school bus to the airport where after an hour of searching we found the building with the 32 boxes of books. I paid the bill, and we hauled them back here to Nyumbani, the kids helped us unload them.
This past Wednesday Nicholas Makau, the manager of the Village,took 25 of the boxes up to the village. I came up the next morning with one of the doctors and the rest of them. When I arrived Nicholas said he had a surprise for me, but I had to wait. This is Africa, we always wait. Finally we headed over to the school.
When I arrived I saw some of the boys carrying some of the boxes into the school room, I walked in and saw all 32 of the boxes. and all the children in the village. They broke into song and dance, just for me. They were so excited, they were all wearing their new school uniforms even though it was vacation! I stood in the front of the room with Nicholas, the husband of the doctor, the representative of the Ministry of Education, on the side stood all the teachers.
Some of the kids took turns telling me how excited they were to have real books, how they would read them all and "deeply." They promised to always take care of them. Then the teachers and the representative spoke, all thanking the Prairie View Middle School kids, and wishing blessings for all of us. Then it was my turn to speak. I tried hard not to cry, but this is what I said:
I have learned many things in my life, but the most important is how to read. Because if you learn to read you can learn anything in the world. I have always loved to read because when you open a book you can be anywhere in the world. From the children of Prairie View Middle School in the United States of America to the children of Nyumbani Village Kitui Kenya: welcome to the world.
Then the kids were each handed a book and they held them up and said "asante sana Prairie View Middle School and Susan gold."
Another time in my life here I will never forget. Thank you Cheryl, Michelle and Jennifer of Sun Prairie for making this happen.
I truly am blessed to leave behind the now named Prairie View/ Susan Gold Library.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little boy

We have books!!!!

2007-08-25T14:45:00.000+03:00

Thanks to the kids from Prairie View Middle School Sun Prairie Wisconsin, and Jennifer, Michelle, Cheryl

Officer Tim and Little boy

2007-08-22T12:03:00.001+03:00

I thought you would all like to see who I say goodbye to at the end of the blog. Best son and grandson (Jack) anyone could ever ask for. I miss you both more than you will ever know.
Stay safe Officer Tim and xoxoxo Little boy

Rosalia

2007-08-22T11:30:00.000+03:00

Last Thursday I welcomed my friend and colleague Dr. Jim C to Nyumbani. He's one of the pediatric infectious disease doctors I work with at UW Children's Hospital. He's been coming to Kenya for 5 years to teach and work with a vaccine program. It was great to see him, he came bearing gifts sent from home! Thank you to Tim and Sarah K for all their shopping, I'm happily eating chocolate and listening to some new music! The day he arrived we went to Kibera to visit Rosalia. We arrived at the Lea Toto clinic site around 1, despite a week of planning there was still some confusion as to how we were going to connect with her. (as always this is Africa!) Finally around 2:15 we set off with one of the community health workers to find her home. As many times as I've been in the slums I will never get used to it. Which, I think is a good thing. The smell, the garbage dumps up against the shacks, the raw sewage, the cramped pathways, the sheer volume of people. We walked for quite a while, smiling at the children who as always call out "how are you?" Picking our way through Jim and I just looked at each other, thinking of the wonderful clinic back home where we work together. We were a long way from there.
Suddenly on the path there appeared Rosalia! She had seen us approaching and came to greet us. It felt so good to see her again, she kept saying to me "you promised to come and you did!!" She proudly led us back to her house to meet her family. Her house is a 5 x 6 shack made of mud, tin roof, dirt floor, wedged in on 3 sides with others. The mum and all the sibs share a mattress behind a sheet hanging from the ceiling. There was a small table and sofa to sit on. We all crowded in, I gave her mum the ugali flour sugar and bread I had brought for them. I gave Rosalia some books to read, which she quickly wrote her name in, first books she'd ever owned she said, a journal to write in and a pen. She was so grateful and touched. She showed me where her secret place is where she keeps her Movin Shoes backpack, now proudly stuffed with books. (Even in a place like that a child needs a spot all her own). Her mother is very ill with AIDS and malaria but so proud to have us in her home. We met Rosalia's twin brother, Titus. He is the firstborn twin and negative. It's the second twin who often is the unlucky one. She shyly told us that while she is ranked #2 in her class Titus is ranked #1. Obviously very bright kids. She has 3 older sibs, all who are excelling in school. They are sponsored by a local mission. I was reassured that the family seems to be connected, though still desperately poor they at least have hope. If her older sibs can hang in school they may be able to help support the family someday. If her mum dies soon I'm not sure what would happen to Rosalia and Titus, it often means no more education and life on the streets. After her mum invited me to come visit anytime Rosalia walked us back through the labyrinth to the clinic, it was hard to say goodbye. I promised I would find a way to stay in touch with her, for now I will send letters through the social worker.
My heart was reassured but heavy when I left.
Dr. Jim did some teaching and consulting and then on Saturday we left for the island of Lamu on the coast. It was so lovely, warm and sunny. The Indian Ocean is really mesmerizing. We stayed right on the beach, went fishing in a wooden boat they call a dhow. There are no cars only donkeys on the island, people travel by dhow up and down the coast. In the morning I would lay on the bed on the verandah and listen to the fisherman get ready to leave for the day. They are always laughing and singing and calling out to each other in Swahili. The kids who work on the boats are so happy and surefooted. It is so safe there, so far from the chaos of Nairobi. It was 4 days of perfect peace, good food, good times with a good friend.
Jim is off to do his work for 2 weeks before heading back to Madison and tomorrow I head back to the village to do some work there. Back to reality!
Stay safe Officer Tim and xoxoxo little boy

Where to start?

2007-08-09T16:42:00.000+03:00

I just finished 4 days of teaching my classes to HIV+ adolescents who are enrolled in the Nyumbani slum outreach program, Lea Toto. (which means raising the child)The children came from all 6 sites, slums all over Nairobi. Kenyan schools are on holiday now so that's why we could get them for 4 days in a row. I co-taught with a Kenyan nurse, Francis, who works at one of the sites. We started with 29, ended up with 27. 2 dropped out because they got sick. It was incredible that as many came for 4 days. The weather was absolutely crappy, cold and rainy. mud everywhere. Some took 2 1/2 hours to get there, every day! We taught the classes at the Kawangwari slum site, it took me over an hour and 2 matatus to get there. The room was unheated, no electricity so it was very gloomy, old cement floor, tine walls and roof. Our table was a piece of wood balanced on USAID boxes. I sued the blankets from KLM and BA as a tablecloth. They still came. They came dirty, hungry, sick. But they also came so eager to learn, so appreciative, so full of questions. They would come through the gates with huge smiles on their faces, go right to the books I put out on the table. They'd gather together and share, talk and laugh and explain to each other.
These kids all live in horrific conditions, with less than nothing. Some are on ARVS, if they can find someone to do the training necessary for them to be able to get them. I would sit there watching them shiver and listen to them cough. One boy left the room and I found him vomiting and crying. He said he didn't want to miss any of the class. We fed them tea and snack when they got there, snack was buttered bread. After the classes ended for the day, about 1, they were given lunch. A whole plateful of warm nutritious food paid for by Nyumbani and made by one of our community health workers who has a little cooking business on the side. You could tell that for many of the kids it was the only food they would get for the day.
At first they were a little hesitant and shy around me, but by the end of the 2nd day the girls were braiding my hair, yes it's that long! It really hurt too, I would only let them put one in the front, they told me you have to feel pain when you get braided. As I have traveled over Kenya you always see women and girls sitting outside getting their hair braided, it seems to be a basic part of what they do and who they are. talking, laughing singing while they do it. Anyway, even the boys would come by and touch my hair!
Over the 4 days we taught them about their bodies, puberty, sex, hiv/aids, arvs, condoms, pregnancy, abstinence, rape, sexual abuse. It's all things that nobody here talks about, but they all really want to know. For these kids too knowing can be the difference between life and death. They role played how to tell someone they're +, answered their questions, some so poignant they made my eyes tear. We talked about how they feel about being +, what they see for their future. They don't ask, how long will I live? they ask, how long will I stay? I guess for them everyone is always leaving. By they end of the day no one cared how cold or dark the room was, the warmth of all the caring was deep into all our souls.
Today when I was leaving I cried, I got hugged and kissed and thanked so many times. They all got backpacks from Movin Shoes, they loved them. They were all proudly wearing them. They asked over and over if I could come back. All I can say is the world has so much to be ashamed of. These children deserve so much more. From everyone.
There was one girl in particular, Rosalia, who is 13 and lives in Kibera, the largest slum in the world. You will hear a lot more about her the next couple of weeks, and will see a picture. I have worked with and seen so many kids here, never has one shone like her. And it wasn't just my bleeding mzingu heart, all the staff at Kawangware recognized it too. She wasn't just bright, she could think things through and come up with answer. She was a step ahead of all the others, but came from even a worse place than a lot of them. And there was such sparkle in her eyes, so much life. I'm going with the social worker from Kibera and my friend who will be here Dr. Jim C to meet her family next week. If this child is lost, it will truly be a tragedy.
When I'm home, and I'm remembering, this is one of the places I will see myself.

The ups and the downs

2007-08-06T20:36:00.000+03:00

We haven't had wireless here for weeks, so the internet has been sporadic. I apologize to everyone who I owe an email. I promise I will catch up tomorrow night. Last Wednesday was the worst day here ft or me so far. Even with everything I've done and seen, sometimes you just have a bad day Everything was complicated, not working right, it was cold and rainy, no hot water. There's a fuel shortage here now too so I couldn't even heat water. Had to slog through the mud down then back up the 3 hills to get to the ATM. The kids were crabby, the staff were crabby, all the volunteers were crabby, It was just one of those days. Then the very next day, things just got better again. My Australian friends invited me over to their house for dinner to meet their visiting children,(from Dubai and Jakarta) and grandchildren. Miraculously Mary called and said come early and take a hot bath! Even with the new solar panels I had managed really only one hot shower and that reeked of gasoline. At her house my whole body fit in the tub, and the water was clean, hot and odorless!
I love meeting their British friends. They have such an interesting perspective .One of the women was telling me she was born here, had lived here 50 years, when I said "so you're Kenyan?" She quite icily said "no I'm British." Kind of funny. Anyway, I like asking them about how things have changed over the years etc. One woman was hilarious talking about all the "rubbish" she buys from peddlers/beggars because she can't say no. They, like the rest of the people here though, don't seem to know a lot about hiv/aids.Easier to live in a bubble I guess.
On Saturday I went to the village for the day for my friend Nicholas Makau's wedding. He's the manager of the village and the slum clinics. I knew him when I was here before. The wedding started 2 hours late and the Mass was 3 hours long, and I didn't understand a word. It was all in the local Kamba dialect. It was great fun and very interesting, they left the church in a donkey cart. They had actually been civil married for 7 years, have 3 kids, this was their church wedding. We had to leave at 4 to get back to Nairobi, so I missed the next 12 hours of dancing and music. Would have loved to have stayed for that.
On Sunday, after Mass here at Nyumbani, I went with the priest to talk to "some people about my classes". He was kind of vague about it, and when we got there I was surprised to find a room packed with parents from the Kiberra slum who wanted to learn how to talk to their kids about hiv/aids, and sex. Incredible 2 hours. I learned so much about their culture, how hard it is for them to do this but they really don't want their kids to die. They asked me to come back, so I will teach them the first 2 Sundays in Sept. How am I ever going to leave here after experiences like that?
I've started teaching my classes in the slum clinic, I will write more about that later. When the signal gets better I will post pictures. Miss you all
Kuwa salama Officer Tim xoxoxo Little boy

Shake, Rattle and....Hot Water!

2007-07-31T13:49:00.001+03:00

It's been an interesting busy week. First, there have been some minor earthquakes here in Nairobi the past 10 days. I think the biggest one was a 6.0. I had no idea that could occur here and from the reaction of the Kenyans they didn't either! One night I woke up at around 2:30 to the sound of the dogs barking, birds screeching. Minutes later everything in my room including my bed started rocking, shaking. Pretty crazy. I don't think there has been any damage but it's put everyone a little more on edge.
This is a presidential election year here which has added to the tension. On the one hand it's good because the incumbent is trying to get lots of things done so the people will vote for him, on the other hand there are demonstrations that often turn violent. The papers are full of political news.One thing I've found interesting here is no one reports about the weather, there's no forecast in the paper, no weather section on the nightly Kenyan news. I asked a Kenyan friend about it, he thought it was hilarious how much attention is paid to it in the US. He said why would you ever care so much about something you can do absolutely nothing about? good point. He also said all they care about here is politics. Politicians are the Kenyan celebrities. At least they have democratic elections. The election is set for December, I am glad I will be back home before that.
Crime continues to be a big issue here. There are 3 Fulbrighters here now, myself, heather, and a film student from USC. He was carjacked and his house robbed at machine gunpoint a few weeks ago, had all his stuff stolen. Including all his project stuff. 10 months of work gone. he was pretty traumatized, and is most likely just going to go home. It makes me glad I'm safe here at Nyumbani. And I am.
My friend Dr. Beck was here for a week, we had a great time. She did physical exams on all the kids in the day care! It took 2 days. You've never heard so many crying children! For many of them it was the first time they had ever been seen by a doctor, scary enough, but a mzingu one at that. Just about did them in. Now, every child has had their growth plotted, a medical chart created, and a baseline exam. The staff at the day care are so grateful for everyone's contribution, especially Dr. Beck.
I am getting ready to teach my program to 30 kids from the Nairobi slums. They will travel every day for 4 days to the kawangware slum, where the Kenyan nurse, Francis, and I will teach it. They get a free lunch and a Movin Shoes back pack for coming. I'm really looking forward to it, then when I'm done my Fulbright project obligation is essentially done for here. The rest of the time I will spend training other people so the project goes on.
The Cottage D kids are all doing well, Ken is not putting on weight but still he's not getting as sick. He seems depressed a lot now, and they don't deal well with that here. How that child has and continues to suffer.
The good news! They put up new solar panels on the volunteer house, and on a sunny day we have a hot shower!!! I had one yesterday, the first hot shower since we were on safari on July 8th. The only drawback is for some reason the water smells like gasoline. But, thank God, it's hot!!!!
Kuwa Salama Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy

Pictures of Kilifi

2007-07-28T21:35:00.001+03:00

Here are some pictures from our time in the coastal village of Kilifi. Right on the Indian Ocean!

Back on Monday? Right!

2007-07-23T16:25:00.000+03:00

So I went back this morning, waited around.The immigration officer told me he would write the letter approving the extension, but it would take a long time to write. Come back next Monday.
So, I went to visit the owner of the shop where I had my camera fixed in 2003. I had stopped by again and he had remembered me and invited me back for tea.Today we finally connected and I had a wonderful time.His chai tea was so good,says he has his own recipe.He's Muslim, born in Mombasa on the coast. He has owned the camera store for almost 30 years, it's down the street from the Hilton in downtown Nairobi.We had a wonderful discussion about Islam,september 11th, the day the American Embassy which at the time was around the corner was blown up. He taught me a wonderful saying from the Koran: live your life so you will be missed when you are not there and remembered when you die. I liked that.
They found a big black snake under the table this computer is on, so I am done for the day!!!
Stay safe officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy happy bday mary lee

Patience is a virtue

2007-07-21T10:41:00.000+03:00

It has been a busy week since my family left. On Monday morning I met with a woman from African Flying Doctors. They have an educational part of their organization where they train nurses. They're very interested in integrating my program into what they do. My goal now in these last months is to train as many people as possible so that when I leave the project goes on. Everyone is so enthusiastic about it and the need is so clearly there that I hope that goal will be met. On Tuesday I went to the village for a few days to check on how the classes were going there. I traveled with Nicholas, the head of the village, Joseph the Kenyan nurse who works there and our driver Justin. We had a very late start leaving Nairobi so most of the travel was in the dark. We stopped in Machakos, the last "city" of any size before you reach the rural area and the bush. We arrived quite late so had to go deep into the city to find a place to eat. I felt very safe with the guys, and was able to eat some real African food. Which, to Nicholas's amazement I actually ate and enjoyed. We got to listen to some music and hang out with some local people. The rest of the drive was as quick as road conditions would allow as we were all tired and anxious to get there. I listened to my IPOD and watched the stars through the car window, I mostly hid behind the supplies we were carrying so nobody would know there was a mizungo in the car, they only had me show my face at the police checks. There my presence increased the likelihood of a wave through. We were all glad to finally arrive. The classes are going well and Joseph is enjoying teaching them. I really love being there now, I walk through the village and people call out my name in greeting, I'm known there now and it feels very good. Late Wednesday night I had to help Joseph clean out a wound on the bottom of a little girl's foot, using a scalpel blade a needle and a flashlight, no electricity. The hug and whispered thank you I got from her was so touching, especially when she told Joseph that I was the village nurse too.
On Friday I had to go to Nairobi to get my visa extended. When it was extended in April it was only for 3 months. There has been all sorts of confusion as to what kind of visa I need because even though the Fulbright grant is a student grant I am not affiliated with a school here and I'm not a professor. The one year visa I paid for and got from the Kenyan embassy in DC was stamped for 3 months when I arrived in January. Anyway, the minister of science and technology had told me to come to his office on Friday and they would give me a letter explaining my status to take to immigration. When we climbed up the 10 flights of stairs and got there the man who was supposed to do it decided that I didn't need it, he wasn't going to do it,it was my problem and an immigration problem not their problem. Of course the minister was not there. He finally agreed to call and speak to immigration. They told him to send me over with a copy of my research permit. I had the permit back at Nyumbani but didn't bring it, since my phone and copy of my passport were stolen on a matatu, I am a bit hesitant to carry originals with me. I was uneasy enough having lots of shillings and my passport with me. The man told me I had to go back to Nyumbani and get the original permit.The whole time he is sitting there with their copy of my permit. When I told him it would take hours, he yelled at me and said well I had all day to do it! He finally agreed to make me a copy. Then it was down 10 flights of stairs, the elevators weren't working, across downtown Nairobi dodging peddlers, beggars, traffic, crowds over to the immigration building, a big yellow monstrosity. I was fortunate to have a Kenyan, Richard, from Nyumbani with me. We go there and the line for the elevator was out the door so we trudged again up 6 flights of stairs to meet Mr. Otumbe, who proceeded to yell at me that this was all highly irregular, that Nyumbani should have applied for a work permit for me if I was going to be here for more than 6 months. He takes out a copy of the immigration law and angrily points to the section about work permits and says I should have known that, I asked him where I would have gotten a copy of it and he said it wasn't available to the public. I tried to explain that I wasn't working, they weren't paying me, it was a student grant from the US State Dept., he grabbed my passport and papers, said he had to discuss this with someone higher up, and stomped off. Richard and I sat and waited, and waited. finally he returned and pretty much rudely repeated what he had said before. He then decided that perhaps, yes, the best idea would be for me to leave the country, actually leave East Africa, for a few days, then return and they would give me another 3 month stamp. He suggested a 2 day bus trip to Rwanda. And his cousin can recommend a bus company. I'm thinking I have to go on a bus to Rwanda? Then, he reaches down and takes out and puts on a hat that says "say no to corruption" Richard and I just look at each other, I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or just slug him. "Fulbright scholar arrested for assaulting immigration official." Upon further discussion he finally realized that I had left the country and returned in June, he examines my passport again and discovers that above the stamp dated June 5th there was some illegible writing that extended my visa until September 5th! Which I of course couldn't read and had never been told. Off he stomped again to the "higher up" as this was new information and even more highly irregular. Once again we waited,and waited. Finally he returned and said: Come back on monday.
We all just sat and looked at each other for awhile, then he begrudgingly said, have nyumbani write a letter explaining your role, we will extend you until November 18th. BUT YOU MUST LEAVE THE COUNTRY ON NOVEMBER 18th.
Richard was profusely apologizing for it all, had only planned on showing me the route between buildings but had decided he couldn't leave me to fight the war alone. I took him to lunch to thank him and the waitress screwed up the whole order.
I go back on Monday.
TIA This is Africa.
Kuwa salama (stay safe)and Happy Birthday Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy Happy 5th Anniversary E and B

Back in the Saddle Again

2007-07-15T15:26:00.000+03:00

Sorry for the long absence, but it was for a good reason. My family was visiting and we were doing lots of traveling. Ali arrived first, on the 29th. She was here in an official capacity as a presenter at the YWCA Leadership Conference. It was so fun to see how well she did, and how well respected she is by her colleagues. I got to stay with her in the Hilton hotel, hot showers!!! We also spent a day at the village, where we had an emotional memorable meeting with the grandmothers. I don't think anyone there will ever forget it. Mum Ann's family were the gracious hosts to my family, with all our comings and goings. It was so fun to show them all where I live, the kids I care for, the people I work with. There are so many things I've just gotten used to so it was fun seeing it through new eyes again. As they have learned, nothing is easy here. All the kids here loved them, there were lots of questions about Baby Jack! We went on safari, we spent 4 days on the coast. We stayed in the most beautiful home, overlooking the Indian Ocean, with the most attentive spoiling staff! It was actually fun to be pampered, and see other parts of Kenya at the same time. If I had my choice I think I would live on the coast, it's safer, the people are so less stressed. the poverty doesn't seem as desperate. but the HIV rate is still very high.
So now I'm back on my own, keeping busy, have a meeting with African Flying Doctors tomorrow about incorporating the project into their work. I'm excited about it. I'm then supposed to head to the village to check on how things are going there. Lots more people to meet, things to do....
Elizabeth and Ali have promised to put all the pictures and movies on the blog. Enjoy!Send emails!
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy

Catching Up

2007-06-28T12:40:00.000+03:00

It's been a quiet week here. Can't download pictures because the signal is so weak. The weather has been "cold" in the high 50's and gray.Not a lot of sun around, doesn't seem like Africa. The kids pretty much stay inside when the weather is like this, they wrap in their blankets. They're all so thin, they chill so easily. I'm already hearing more coughs, more wheezes, wiping more runny noses. I'll be glad when the warm days and nights are back, they say sometime in August. Still, for a winter it's not bad! I went up to Kericho for 2 days, one night and one hot shower. I trained the staff of a group called Live With Hope,they can now teach the curriculum. Again, it's so gratifying to see how much they embrace it. People of all ages just want to know. I have an appointment on July 16th with African Flying Doctors. They are interested in the program and want to discuss training etc. We have a new baby, Anthony. He's 6 months old, has been lost in the shuffle in kenyatta hospital for 3 months, since his mom abandoned him. He's pretty scrawny, but big alert eyes. He's in Cottage G, all of us in Cottage D are campaigning for the next baby.
Ali arrives Friday night, the rest of them on Tuesday. Can't wait.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy, I'll take good care of your mom and dad

Good news and a few corrections.

2007-06-20T14:55:00.000+03:00

Ken's cd4 count is now 34!! It's gone from 1 to 16 to 34. Of course normal for his age would be around 500, but he's heading in the right direction.At least now if he gets sick he has a little something to fight with. If only we could get him to gain some weight...
I do these blogs so quickly because of the intermittent power, can't always take the time to proofread. and then it bugs me. Anyway,it's Kenyatta International Airport (not national), Heather is another Fulbrighter here in Nairobi, not at Nyumbani.And it should say I "may" not "make"like her for her baby! Which really isn't true, she is truly awesome. I think everything else was okay! or in Swahili "sowa sowa."

Midterm Report

2007-06-19T18:56:00.000+03:00

As you might have noticed by the ticker at the top I'm officially halfway done. Actually that was yesterday, but the power was out here so I couldn't write. I really can't believe it's on the second half now. I can remember in the beginning, before I settled in, thinking I would never last. Now I wonder how I will go home. (But, don't worry I will!). My project has gone well, we're setting up now to teach the classes in the slums in August. I'm so grateful for how enthusiastically it's been embraced at sites all over. I'm humbled by how much people/kids want to know and how as a nurse I have the information they want. I really feel like I will leave behind something that will make a difference. Most beautiful: the incredible Kenyan scenery, different wherever you go in Kenya, hilly green flat arid urban rural. So many "postcard" images. Most frustrating: the roads and the bureaucracy. (though today I got my research permit changed in less than 20 minutes at no cost!!). Most haunting: the sight of Margaret's tattered shoes under the bed for days after she died. No one had the heart to remove them. Funniest moment: I was walking back to Nyumbani from Karin when all of a sudden I heard lots and lots of children yelling "susan gold, susan gold" the nyumbani school bus was going by and they were all hanging out the window, they did stop and give me a ride. Most fulfilling moment: anytime they come and curl up on my lap or sit next to me, and just want to be loved. Best friend besides mum ann: the other Fulbrighter here, Heather. But, I make just like her for her baby Augustus too! Biggest convenience: wireless and Pascal who makes it work, my mobile. Doesn't matter where you are in the world, it's good to be connected. Most peaceful moments, here or in Kitui: early mornings, late at night. Most powerful moment:first, the kids here do not talk about their families, their previous lives before Nyumbani, though many were horrific, 70% have been molested. One Sunday at church our favorite priest, Fr.Ludwig talked in his sermon how he has just been to sudan and how sad it was. It was also the week of the Kenyan air crash and he talked about how sad for the people on the plane and their families. Then he asked what was a time they felt very sad. Suddenly it was like a dam broke, voice after voice: 'when my mother died" "my father...." "my grandfather... " "my brothers..." "when my parents ran away and left me" we all sat there stunned as it went on and on. Finally,they were silent, but you could see the grief on their faces. Fr. Ludwig looked at all of them and said "at the moment you were the saddest and the most alone, God loved you." and you could see the comfort it brought them. And I thought to myself that I will never again doubt the power of faith. What I couldn't live without: your emails and your support. What I can't wait for: the sight of my family coming through those doors at Kenyatta National Airport! Love you all, I'm on the downhill now!!!

Village life

2007-06-16T11:05:00.000+03:00

I arrived back at Nyumbani last night after 3 days in the village. It's become a Nyumbani joke that Nicholas, the director of the village and Lea Toto has been trying to get me to come to the village and stay a long time. Each time I go I stay a little longer. This time I told him if he wants me to stay a long time he needs to buy me the internet and flush toilets! (think pit toilet in your house.) Actually the more I go there the more I love it. Though I did come home absolutely filthy, even the lukewarm shower felt so good. They are making progress by leaps and bounds there, now have over 150 children and 25 grandparents. The goal is 1000 children, 250 granparents. It's a reminder about the immensity of the problem and the impact on Kenyan life. I don't know how Nicholas keeps on top of everything, he also runs Lea Toto back here, his wife and 3 kids are here, the drvie between here and the village is absolutley tortuous. Yesterday I gave him my IPOD to listen to, it was nice to see him relax for a little while. He does a super human job. My time there was really wonderful. You can really feel yourself slow down and adapt to the rhythm of village life. When Nicholas came to get me, an hour and a half late, to take me back here, he found me asleep in the sun on a bench. A few months ago I would have been so frustrated at the delay, stalking him to get going! I like the "hakuna matata" lifestyle! My favorite times there are early morning and late evening. In the morning I sit with my coffee on the steps of the guesthouse and watch the village come to life. The kids run off to school, someone feeds the chickens, the volunteers gather for breakfast. The grandmothers make beautiful woven baskets, they all walk around with them in their hands, weaving and talking as they go.It did not remind me of my knitting yellow blankie! I love listening to the women in the kitchen chatter in Kamba, the local dialect. People walk for 2 1/2 hours to work in the village, and feel blessed to have a job. It really feels like a village now. At night all the volunteers and some of the staff would gather at the guest house for dinner and after meal conversation. There are 4 Catholic priests in training there, 2 are Kenyan 2 are Indian. They were hilarious.We had great talks about the role of religion in culture, all sorts of things by the light of the solar lantern. Then I would sit outside and look at the stars and enjoy the cool breeze. It really is a magical place. They use a 12 hour clock, that's based on sunrise/sunset. If they say they will meet you at 5, they mean after 5 hours of sunlight! How cool is that? Since there's no electricity and it's out in the middle of nowhere I have never seen such darkness, you literally cannot see the hand in front of your face in the middle of the night. The nurse, Joseph, and I started the classes for the kids. Word got out and over 80 kids came! They wouldn't leave, I'll never forget sitting there as the light faded answering question after question. Kids all over the world truly just want to know.
I have met so many different and interesting people here, all who have taught me so much. Nicholas took me to the village of Kitui, about 25k from Nyumbani Village. Takes 20 minutes of off road driving just to get to the road to go there! I met some nuns who run a very successful program for street kids. They were so impressive in their dedication to their mission. Their bathroom was awesome too.
There is still so much to learn, and all of a sudden it doesn't seem like there's much time.
I will post pictures tomorrow. hopefully.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy.

Happy Anniversary to Tim

2007-06-09T16:08:00.001+03:00

Sr. Julie and all the staff helped me celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary. There were flowers, prayers at the morning meeting, applause and dinner at the Rusty Nail. Hopefully Tim we'll celebrate #33 on the same continent!

Catching Avocados!

2007-06-09T16:01:00.001+03:00

There are avocado trees on the orphanage grounds. Friday afternoon the kids gathered and with Uncle Joseph's help collected them as he knocked them down. They are actually a head injury hazard if they just fall on unsuspecting pedestrians! I was walking around one night talking to my sister Mary Lee and one fell on the driveway in front of me! They taste great too. That's Faith with the harvest.

Keeping us warm

2007-06-09T15:55:00.000+03:00

My niece Elizabeth sent 3 new blankets for kids who didn't have them. We had sent some in 2004, the ones that took 14 months to get here! The kids were so excited to have their own. Tucking them in at night is one of my favorite things to do, they feel surrounded by love from America. The cold weather is coming here now, so they came just in time! Ken especially loves his big boy stripes!

Telling Time

2007-06-09T15:51:00.000+03:00

The watches Susanne sent made 3 kids feel very special. They take very good care of them. It's Sheila, Ken and Brian.

Thank You Susanne

2007-06-09T15:46:00.000+03:00

the plates are a big hit, the kids love the colors and how big they are. Last night they had their first dinner on them. Mum loves them because they clean up so well, the plastic is of much better quality. thank you!!

Lost....and found

2007-06-07T16:21:00.000+03:00

all the prayers to the luggage gods worked. KLM delivered my 2 bags to Nyumbani Wednesday afternoon, everything present and accounted for. That was a huge relief, I am obviously still very attached to my stuff! The first 24 hours of re-entry were hard, exacerbated by the thought of no clothes, gifts etc. Now I just have to get my sleep times back on Kenya time. the kids loved all their gifts, I will put pictures on tomorrow. elizabeth ann they loved their blankets, it was so wonderful last night to tuck them all in under homemade blankets. They all told me this morning how warm they were all night, thank you so much. Susanne when I gave Ken his watch he had the biggest smile and said "for me?" he's worn it very proudly ever since, shows it to me everytime I see him. I gave one watch to Sheila, she's the oldest girl in the cottage and has worked so hard with the younger kids. She's very quiet and often overlooked in the hubbub, you could tell how special it made her feel. The 3rd watch I gave to Brian, because he scored the highest score on the standardized tests at school. He too was so surprised and touched. they all oohed and aahed over the plates, thought they were so colorful and would be great fun to eat off of. They never complain about setting the table or washing the dishes but now they said it would be fun. I can't thank either of you enough for your generosity and for the time you put in to the kids gifts - they truly appreciated them. Sarah, the pencil sharpener caused all sorts of consternation in security on all 3 continents, I don't think anyone new what it was. Each time I had to dig it out of my backpack and explain! The kids now are frequent sharpeners!
So, I'm settled in. It's hard seeing the sad things again, but this does feel a little bit like home. I know this time will fly by, I"m trying to make the most out of everyday. Thank you all for your time when I was home, to those I didn't get to see it was only because the time was so short, I look forward to seeing you in November.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little boy, Happy Birthday to my sister Rita and a very Happy Anniversary to Tim 32 years! I love you.

Grammy and Jack

2007-06-05T23:20:00.000+03:00

Back home in Kenya

2007-06-05T22:28:00.000+03:00

I'm here, light headed dizzy from the altitude and jet lag. NO luggage! First time in all my travels that has happened. They didn't make me pay even thought it was over the weight limit but I guess they still got their revenge. Hopefully it arrives tomorrow. On the flight to Amsterdam I sat next to a woman from Nigeria who is a judge on their High Court. Had a great conversation about women' rights in Africa. More tomorrow when I'm more awake, and hopefully with clothes. Pray to the luggage Gods!! Miss you all, went way too fast.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy

R&R, Madison style!

2007-05-23T16:12:00.000+03:00

I'm all packed and ready to head to the airport to start the trek home. I should hopefully! be arriving in Madison tomorrow around late afternoon. I'm having breakfast at the Amsterdam airport at 5:30 Am with my nephew Andrew.
It's so much easier to say goodbye to the kids when you know you will be saying hello in 2 weeks. I'm so looking forward to seeing everyone, to endless hot showers and food. I know I'm heading for some culture shock, I've seen so many things here in the last 4 months.It will feel good to have a bit of a break. Feel free to call or stop by. I will try to put some pictures up on the blog while I'm home. See you soon!
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy(get to give you those myself tomorrow night!)

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!!

2007-05-22T10:25:00.000+03:00

The other night I was sound asleep under my mosquito net when a rustling noise woke me up. It seemed to be coming from the open window behind the curtains over my head. I reached up and pulled the curtain back to find a monkey trying to join me!!! I don't know who was more startled., He quickly turned tail and disappeared, and I quickly went back to sleep. I guess I am turning Kenyan. This has definitely been my week for African wildlife! I now sleep with my window closed.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo little boy

Night of the flying termites

2007-05-19T09:06:00.000+03:00

It has been raining, raining, raining. When there's a particularly heavy downpour at night multitudes of flying termites emerge. The other night Jody (my roommate) and I were hanging out in our rooms,avoiding the wet dash to the cottages, when I noticed some bugs flying around. My creature tolerance has gone way up here, I've seen some major ones!! also, one of our volunteer duties is to sort rice and beans, picking out the bugs. So, I've gotten pretty used to giant grasshoppers, cockroaches,snakes, chamelions, lizards, huge hornets and wasps,spiders, plus your garden variety ants mosquitos etc. We've learned to keep cups upside down, always look in your cup before filling or drinking and and always check the pan before cooking. Always spread your mosquito net before going to sleep.
Well, I'm sitting there and all of a sudden I realize that there's more than a few of them. These bugs are about 3", have multiple translucent brown wings and are drawn to the light. They fly around, then shed their wings all over the place, crawl around and die. Not a very pleasant life span. I looked around and realized they were coming in by the hundreds under the door, through the crack in the windows! I yelled for Jody, we she immediately opened the door, turned on the outside light while I turned off the inside light (of all nights to have power!)to draw them out. We then put stuff across the bottom of the door, closed the windows etc and sat in the dark. I admit I was totally grossed and freaked out and did have some cowering time on the lower bunk. After a half hour they were gone, leaving behind wings all over. Even more disgusting is they're considered a delicacy, are fried in their own fat. Not on my menu.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo little boy

Celebrating our birthdays

2007-05-19T09:02:00.000+03:00

That's John, Sammy, and Ann.

Happy Birthday to Me

2007-05-16T20:46:00.000+03:00

Even though it's my brother tom's birthday! Happy Birthday Tommy! Tonite we celebrated the May birthdays. Because mine is on the 26th I was included in the cottage D celebration. It was definitely one I will never forget. I shared with John, Sammy K, and Ann. We all sat together, everyone sang the great happy birthday song to us, clapped for us, counted up to our birthday age,(which for mine was quite a challenge for them!) they even had my name on the cake! Everyone got up and danced, even Kennady!! Then they all wished me many blessings, told me how happy they were that I was there, and how much I meant to them. I truly am blessed. and old.
Pictures will come soon.
Stay safe Officer Tim and xoxoxo Little Boy

I need to fix something

2007-05-13T08:44:00.000+03:00

Last night when I was falling asleep I was thinking about my blog entries. I realized that in my haste I might have left the impression that it was me who was leaving a sustainable day care program and saving lives. Nothing can be further from the truth. I was trying to cram so much stuff in and the power went out 4 times because it was raining so hard, I kept condensing!Anyway, I want to make it clear how I feel about all that. It's Caroline and her staff who are doing all the work, who's ideas and plans are making this a success and sustainable. What I'm doing is volunteering my resources and expertise where I can help. My goal is a medical/nursing structure in place that anyone can step into and help the kids. Caroline and I hope to establish a volunteer network that will include Kenyan and American personnel. It's a very small piece of the whole program. I have seen and learned in my time here that what makes a program successful is not what the Americans bring to it but what the Kenyans do.
In time past how Americans would have contributed to this daycare program is built or found a site, supplied it with toys, maybe hired a kenyan to run it, maybe an American, fund raised to keep it going and hoped the donors didn't lose interest, made sure there was a plaque on the wall commemorating the American effort. Thankfully, we've all changed our ways. The vision Caroline has to learn the identify the needs of her community lease the land, provide the classes, encourage the parents to volunteer,all that is what's providing ownership and success.
It has been a struggle at times, coming from the nursing background that I do, to figure out what my role here is. I really don't know if I had been in charge if outcomes would be different. I do know that I have learned more patience, humility, developed more negotiating skills along with an appreciation of "Kenyan time."
The whole concept behind the Fulbright program is the sharing of cultures and resources so that both cultures learn from each other. That learning is what will strengthen our bonds, I am so lucky to be a part of that program and learn those lessons.
I feel better now.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo little boy

Change is hard

2007-05-12T14:47:00.000+03:00

More volunteers left this morning, at one point there were over a dozen here. When I come back in June I will be the only one!!! It's sad to see them go, a part of me thinks of when I will be leaving, you get jealous of the family they will see and the hot showers they will take. The young ones bring such life and laughter here. Still, the days go on, the rhythm settles into something new. New volunteers will eventually come.
A more difficult change is that which is happening in Nyumbani. As they transition from hospice to home they're putting lots of effort into getting the adolescents ready to go out in the world and live a longer, normal life. Part of that effort is as the kids get older they move out of the cottages into what they call the hostels. They're still on the compound but a little aside.There they have "mentors" and the emphasis is on teaching life skills. Well you can imagine the challenge of a house of only teenage girls next to a house of teenage boys!! Things weren't working well with the present mentors so they were let go. My beloved mum Ann of Cottage D was asked to take over the girls hostel! It's supposed to be temporary but we don't believe that. The D kids took it hard, for many she has been one of their only 2 mums. The little boys really cried, Mark said she could be there during the day but still had to sleep in D at night. Brian said it was the big girls fault they didn't have a mum, they couldn't have theirs! Ann did a great job of reassuring them, they will still see her everyday. The new mum, Grace, seems very nice. It helps that I too am still around everyday, it provides more consistency.
On Tuesday night the psychologist (English,grew up here, lived in Canada, Australia, and back in Kenya) invited my roommate and I to the Karen Country Club for a "Night at the Opera."! with her and her husband. They have digital and showed a video of an opera. It was actually great fun. It really is a part of Kenya's history,the colonial time. Seeing all those British expats, "white Kenyans" was really interesting. There are a surprising number of kenyans there too, which Mary said you never would have seen when she was growing up here. The "post-colonial crowd." Everyone was welcoming to us, there was a 3 course dinner during intermission. Real bathrooms!! with a full length mirror, have only seen glimpses of myself for 4 months! Who would have thought I'd see my first opera in Kenya!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mums in the world, especially little boy's mum, the best ever. I've learned over and over here that the best indicator/predictor for a child's health is the health of it's mother. I wish you all a healthy joyful day.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little Boy

Jukumo Letu

2007-05-12T14:28:00.000+03:00

That's the name of the daycare center. It means "Our Responsibility." It was started by one of the Kenyan social workers who worked in Lea Toto for Nyumbani. I visited there with Melissa and was so taken by the children and the staff. Since then, because of the long rains they had to leave that space. It was flooded with raw sewage. As disruptive as that was they found a new place that is easier to get to, not so deep into the slum. It has a lot more windows too. No more exams outside! There's no electricity or plumbing, but overall it's better. I went there on Tuesday with my roommate Jody. I finally had a chance to sit down with Caroline to talk about the center. She's an amazing woman, very committed to the kids and the community. She had met with people from the village of Ngong to understand more what their needs were. Most are single mothers, they do what's called "casual labor" working when and where they can find it, selling vegetables crafts etc. A big concern is that they had no place to leave their little children, they either spent the day on their backs, literally or were left alone in the houses for hours. kids as young as 2. So, Caroline decided to open this center with her own funds. When it opened they had only planned on 25 children, there are now 49. People were leaving them at the gate. Eventually they think they will have about 100. Only 12 have been tested, 4 were +. The staff is volunteer. The moms help out one day a month. Caroline was able to fund raise to lease 2 acres of land, they now grow food to sell and for the center. They have also started microfinance projects like soap making, bead work and basket making. Caroline and I drew up some plans for the medical care, I will come at least every other week, probably once a week. I'm developing charts and forms. The docs who come visit me will do exams on the kids so each one has a good baseline exam. I'm going to teach the staff classes on hygeine, care of the ill child, care of the + child. They in turn will lead classes for the parents. When Dr. George comes back in late September he can take over the medical care, hopefully when I leave in November we'll have a system in place so there will always be coverage. So many of these kids never get medical care. With all our committment and everyone's generosity (and would it be awesome if my niece Tess could come paint the walls!) some nutritional guidance/help from Ammen's Stephanie, this will be a sustainable program. More lives saved.

The kitchen

2007-05-12T14:25:00.000+03:00

It's across the yard, they cook on a wood fire.

A few more toys

2007-05-12T14:19:00.000+03:00

They were able to get a few toys, actually the discarded parts of toys to play with. Still have the tires. I brought 2 bags of stuff donated by the friends of Toni,the best hairdresser in Madison, who happens to cut my hair and is going to freak when she sees it! The kids loved them, my daughter Elizabeth's moms group is going to hopefully help us with some more and also my book club. I will bring them back in June. Should be a fun day!

snack time

2007-05-12T14:11:00.000+03:00

The kids get at least 2 meals and a snack, they have already seen an improvement in their nutritional status. They go to the market day in the village and buy fresh fruits and vegetables when they have the funds. Parents also drop off stuff if they can.

So tired

2007-05-12T14:08:00.000+03:00

Or, as the British volunteers say, so knackered!(I love that!)

Naptime

2007-05-12T14:06:00.000+03:00

Some thoughts about the village

2007-05-12T13:08:00.000+03:00

The way it's set up, with all the houses (48 of 52 have been built with bricks made onsite), the paths around, the community center, it all reminded me of Seaside in Florida. The new urbanism didn't come from modern day architects but from ancient African villages. They've learned that for the grandparents to be willing to leave their villages and come live there, no matter how destitute they are, they have to be able to go back and visit, they have to have a shamba (their own garden), their goats, and they have to promise them that when they die they will be buried in their home village. Because everywhere in the world there is no place like home.