As Promised

Well, I had the teleconference this morning. Of course it started 40 minutes later than I expected, but really that's not bad for Kenya! They told me they are committed to the project, recognize the uniqueness of my work and the great need for it. They are working on 5 different options for developing the project. They will have a plan before I arrive in May, meetings are scheduled for May 21st, with the final plan that I return around July 1st. I'm excited but also sad to think about leaving my family. That will never never be easy. There's so much to balance, I love the work I do there, I think it's important and it fully uses my skills. The work of starting a new organization in a developing country will give me so many new skills, open new doors and give me so many new experiences. But, it takes me half a world away from my family. If I stay here I know my work won't be fulfilling or allow me to grow. Again, this is never never easy.
Sad news. I talked to Beth, a volunteer who returned home last week after 10 months at Nyumbani. She said Sammy has had another stroke and is now completely paralyzed, most likely blind, unable to speak or eat. He also appears to cry out in pain a lot.
Before the second stroke he got the Hallmark cards we all sent, the ones with the music in them. She said he loved them, knew they were from us. He would play the music all the time, (which drove everyone crazy!) and wouldn't let anyone take them away from him. She said she talked to him all the time about me, that I was going to come back and help take care of him. That we loved him.

A Plan, Sort Of

Ive been waiting until I heard something for sure, and one thing I learned in Kenya is you wait. and wait. Finally, some word has come through. I am having a teleconference on Wednesday morning with the PEPFAR folks, to discuss the "way forward." (That's a phrase you hear over and over) I am going on May 18th for 12 days. I need to check on Sammy, (haven't heard anything more from Nyumbani) see my Cottage D kids and finalize the plans I make on Wednesday. I'm hoping I will return to Kenya on July 1st to finish my work.
More details on Wednesday, promise!

Update on Sammy

Dr. Jean B, a pediatrician from the UK, was able to return to Kenya last week. She and her husband, a micro economist, are there for 2 years with VSO, Volunteer Services Organization. She is the doctor who helped Ken so much at the end. They had been evacuated back to the UK when all the trouble happened but have now come back.
She emailed me this morning that she was able to examine Sammy, there also happened to be an American doctor visiting.
What she said was that he has had several strokes, due to the CMV and HIV. He is starting to recognize some people and say the "odd word." But, there has been extensive neurological damage and recovery is impossible. He is paralyzed. They also reviewed his ARV and viral load history, and the results of the tests that tested his virus against his ARVS.
There are no ARVs available in Kenya that will help him.
I don't know what to say.

A Little More News

Sammy K is on the right medicine. They also were able to test his blood to see which ARVS would work the best against the strain of HIV he has. Hopefully the right ARVS will be available in Kenya or through PEPFAR. That would not be an issue in any Western country, he would have whatever he needed. It's only in the poor countries that the world thinks it's okay for children to not have access to what will keep them alive. Like medicine, food, clean water. Something to think about.
As the medicine he's on does his work he's suffering from seizures. Those are most likely caused by the disturbances in his brain caused by CMV. They are treating them, and hopefully they won't cause any further damage. He faces a long road back to what will still be an uncertain future. If your kids ever tell you life is unfair, tell them about Sammy.
The link to My Two Grandmas is for the best blankets ever. My niece makes them and all the kids in Cottage D have them and really love them. They come highly recommended!

Linking You Up

Elizabeth showed me how to add links to other sites on my blog. So, now you can effortlessly get to Nyumbani, Elizabeth's blog, or apply for a Fulbright!
Sammy is on the right medicine, but is having some unpleasant side effects that include screaming. The good news is that he can obviously make noise again but he's still not speaking.
More snow here, and Ali will be learning to be a doctor at UW Medical School!

A Little More News

Sammy K is hanging in there. I have not been able to find out if he's on the right medicine but I'm just hoping that he is. He is eating well, but very tired of not being able to communicate. Imagine.
I have heard from PEPFAR, most likely my return will be sometime in April. In the meantime I continue to do presentations wherever I'm asked. People have been so generous, we still need some more funding but I think we will meet our goal.
The coolest thing is that I've been able to present in 2 schools, with one more scheduled. All the schools are doing fund raising, so it's not just adults with checkbooks it's American kids helping Kenyan kids. What can be better than that for everyone?
(remember Nyumbani.org in the comment section earmark the funds for Visit US)

Sammy News (especially for Dylan)

I got an email today from Sr. Julie at Nyumbani. I had sent her the suggestions, thoughts etc from Dr. Jim Conway, Pediatric Infectious Disease doc I work with. He thought one of a couple of different viruses were possibly causing the paralysis and other problems and he was right! He tested positive for CMV (cytomegalovirus) long name, but eventually treatable. He will need short term IV antiviral (not anti hiv med, another class of anti viral) and then long term oral therapy. The good news is that the damage is reversible if he gets the right treatment which Nyumbani will see that he does. Hopefully, all this will be done in time. He is not out of the woods, still needs your prayers and your love, but there is a light shining on him now.
I will keep you all informed. It truly takes a village to raise these children. But, they are so worth the effort!

Latest News

Lots to tell you about. I really hope people are still reading, I know I haven't been posting much but it's been hard getting the news. First, safety issues. Kids in Nyumbani and Village are all safe, kids in slums still continue to struggle. I heard this morning that Rosalia's family has been displaced and her brother shot. They are trying to get me more details. I can't even imagine how frightened she is.
The Americans are all safe, still doing their work. PEPFAR is still working on my project plans and return. The money has been budgeted but my return is at minimum weeks away. So frustrating.
Negotiations with the government for a political solution are ongoing and seem somewhat promising. Nothing like African politics!
One of the D boys, Sammy K is not doing well. It appears he lost sight in his right eye a few weeks ago and last Sunday became paralyzed on his right side, can't speak and has right hand tremors. He is sleeping a lot and appears to not be in any pain. When he's awake he eats and drinks, but really can't communicate. He is the most loving sweet not complaining boy. I will never understand why the children of Kenya suffer so much. His ARVS are not containing his virus anymore. I can't bear the thought of losing another Cottage D boy. I don't know how the kids will ever recover, how they can suffer so much loss and still go on.
I am continuing my fund raising to bring them here for a visit, I am blessed with all your generosity and I pray that Sammy recovers and gets to come too. My heart will be so lightened when I turn them over to American doctors.
To donate go to Nyumbani.org and earmark funds for Visit US!
Good family news: it's a girl! on the way for Elizabeth and Brandon and Ali has also been accepted at UW Medical School. Officer Tim and Liz are the proud owners of a beagle puppy named Bailey. Little boy is talking and growing like a weed. All my kids could actually be back in Wisconsin, while I'm in Kenya!

Good news, Bad news, Great news

First the great news, Elizabeth is having a baby girl!!! They had an ultrasound, she's perfect and female! Due date is June 13th. We are all excited and anxious to welcome her.
The bad news is that the turmoil continues in Kenya with no real solution in sight. Despite the efforts of the international community and Kofi Annan the violence continues. It has degenerated into tribal conflict under the guise of political unrest. Long standing tribal issues and hatreds have been unleashed and the innocent suffer. The rape rate has greatly increased, people have no access to their medications so the death rate from HIV will increase as their virus becomes resistant and the infection rate will rise. The long term implications of all this will go on for generations. My return is still on hold, I am determined at some point to go back to do the work that will be even more important but at this point it's not safe. The kids in the orphanage and the village are still safe, the kids in the slums are not. Some have been found, many have scattered. Please pray for all of them.
Now the good news. I decided that while I was here I would use my time wisely. You all know how much my D boys mean to me, John, George, Brian and Sammy K. Well, with the help of the orphanage staff, Sr. Mary's and the American board of Nyumbani's approval I am bringing them to the US in December for a visit!!!! Nicholas has agreed to accompany them (4 boys who have never traveled? He's quite brave!). They will be here for about 3 weeks and we hope to travel from Madison through Iowa, Milwaukee Chicago to Washington DC, and New York. What I will need is help with the airfare. We are arranging for them to get medical care, George has a terrible cough, Sammy's eyes hurt all the time, John has had 2 surgeries on his leg. They are all well enough to travel but there would be long term benefit from the care we could give them here. People have asked if it would be cruel to bring them here and then send them back. Kenya is their home, other Nyumbani kids who have traveled overseas had no problem going back to Nyumbani and sharing their experiences. They will have so much to tell their friends and their mums. They can tell them that people here love and care about them, that there's a whole world out there that if they do well in school and take their meds they can take their place in that world.
We chose December because they know summer and they want to know what winter is. Whatever it takes we will find them some snow! They won't know until a few weeks before they leave that they are coming, things are obviously usually too uncertain and we don't want any disappointed kids. Protus is now working on getting birth certificates which will allow them to get passports. We're hoping visas won't be too difficult with all the connections we have.
If you would like to help (and please do!) you can make a tax deductible donation through the Nyumbani.org website, under comments earmark the funds for Visit US
There are 4 boys whose lives you can change, and you can hopefully meet them too!

Watching and Waiting

This will be a big week in Kenya's history. The opposition has called for protests on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. They will either be peaceful or a bloodbath. If chaos results I'm sure it will impact my future plans.
Warren is back in Nairobi, says he is well but shell shocked from his experience in Kericho. My friend Mary's husband Richard emailed and said they have been fine, used the $30 taxi to get to the airport rather than the $750 military escort and arrived there without any problems. They live in Karen, where the orphanage is, and have been barely touched by the violence. The Hardisons, who run the mission hospital up by Kisumo, were evacuated to Nairobi, and say they are safe, well rested and well fed. Like everywhere in the world, what you see depends on where you stand.
Watch the news, watch the blog. And pray.

One step forward 2 steps back

So, for a awhile the news was good, things had settled down and there seemed to be some progress in coming up with a peaceful solution. I have been in touch with Warren and Nicholas, they're in different areas of the country so have different perspectives. Both were feeling very optimistic and starting to venture a little farther out from where they were hunkered down. Then, the president appointed a cabinet full of his tribal members and the opposition leader refused to meet with him. Violence again.
As all this plays out against the background of our own electoral process I have learned so much about what it takes to make a democracy work, it's more than just a trip to a voting booth. The lack of leadership in Kenya has chilling implications for the ability of tribes to live together peacefully.
The hardest thing is the implications for all this in terms of the country's economy, tourism and most poignantly, the lives of it's children. The HIV+ children enrolled in our Lea Toto program are now scattered and out of their ARV medication. Time off from the meds greatly increases the risk of resistance and due to the limited availability of drugs in Africa will certainly lead to the death of many.
My own plans, like those of many people, are pretty much on hold. I will go back when the US Embassy says it is safe. In the meantime, I have decided to use my time wisely and have come up with a plan for my D boys. Stay tuned for details...................

Watching It All

Things are still very bad in Kenya. I have been able to talk to an exhausted heart broken Warren. The compound in Kericho where I taught is now home to 1500 frightened Kikuyu. The IU program is evacuated out of Eldoret. Nairobi continues to self destruct. No one knows how or when this will end. I have been in touch with mum Anne's family and Nicholas. All are safe, the volunteers in Nyumbani are staying behind the guarded gates, all are facing food and water shortages. I look at the plenty around me and feel ashamed of all I have here. I watch on the news and see the streets I walked many times. I think of all the shopkeepers I met and got to know and wonder if their stores still exist. I worry about all the kids (3000) who come to the Lea Toto clinics in the slums and know that for now they won't see doctors and nurses when they're sick and won't get their next month's ARVS, and that could literally kill them. I have no idea where or how Rosalia is, she lives in Kibera where there has been much violence. How frightened they all must be. When Dr. Jim Conway was visiting me we walked through Kibera together and wondered why it hadn't erupted, a million people living in extreme poverty I couldn't begin to describe. We wondered what the spark would be that would set it all off. Now we know.
Please keep all of them in your thoughts and prayers, I will keep you updated.

Kenya in chaos

It's Sunday night, just had dinner with great friends. Went to church this morning met Officer Tim and Liz for breakfast, enjoyed time with them in their apartment. It's snowing here, which it seems to have done almost every day since I got home! All is peaceful here, it's hard to believe that Kenya seems like it's imploding. The presidential elections were on Thursday and they had a record turn out. Everyone was so proud, it was democracy at it's best. Then when it appeared that the incumbent, President Kibaki, was losing, suddenly the results were late in coming. People quickly decided that the election was being stolen, (who knows the truth) and all hell broke loose. I have been receiving phone calls and texts from friends there, there are riots everywhere, killings, fires. Today they declared Kibaki the winner and he was sworn in, that escalated everything. There is talk about evacuating Americans. This is the text I received from my friend Warren in Kericho: This has been total war. I've been putting our fires, carrying babies to safety. It's so sad. I don't know what to say Kenya is up in flames.
As usual my heart is in two places. I don't want to be in danger but it's so hard to be away from my friends there and the kids. Many of the Nyumbani kids are out of Nyumbani staying with extended family, I pray they are safe. All over they are running out of water and food. Many people have been killed. The violence is all over, heavy in Nairobi.
This is a country and a people I came to love. A part of me is home there. This is why things are so hard and complicated in Africa, the rampant corruption, the lack of leadership, the peoples' lack of hope and confidence. As I struggle to find the latest news I see too the world's indifference, it's what we expect so we don't find it too newsworthy. But for me it will never be the same because for me there are faces and names.
No matter what you might think of George Bush we should all be grateful that come Inauguration Day he will get on a plane and fly away. And we don't have to be afraid.

Merry Christmas!

I hope that some of you are still reading! Lots of news to tell you. First, the Nyumbani news. The kids all had a good Christmas. President Kibaki and First Lady Lucy came and spent time, of course they were late and the kids had to wait all day. Some things never change!

John in Cottage D had surgery on his leg 2 days after I left. Neither he nor I had any idea it was going to happen. A visiting surgeon from Italy arranged for it. It went well but he is confined to a wheel chair and the cottage for 5 weeks. Not easy for a very active boy. We called him Christmas night and all got to say hello. It was so good to hear his voice and I know he loved the sense of a family to call and talk with. I miss all of the kids so much, and being back with y family makes it even more clear to me how painful it is for all of them to not have family.

My niece had sent me fleece blankets for the new kids, Paul, Eunice and Fidelis. They loved them, those blankets have made a huge difference in the lives of the kids. It's not just that they keep them warm, it's that they are theirs. They can point to something and say mine, they don't have to share. And it's proof that someone in the world cares about them. If you would like to get some for yourselves or family the website is

my2grandmas.com Best blankets ever!~

Other family news: Elizabeth is pregnant with baby number 2!!!!!!!! She is due June 17th, 11 days before Tim and Liz's wedding. Ali was accepted at George Washington University Medical School! She is living proof that if you want something enough you can find a way to make it happen, dream big and never give up.

My news is that I might be heading back to Kenya in a few months! PEPFAR (the president's emergency plan for aids relief) has asked me to come back and set up my project as an organization that we will turn over to the Kenyans in January 2009!! It is a huge honor and a hard decision, hardest ever. But, it's a way to see that my work goes on. I will post more details soon I promise! I know you've heard that before I guess I am turning Kenyan!

Being home

Sorry it has taken so long to do this, it's been busy and hard. I needed time to let things settle down here and there and figure out what I thought about everything. So, I'm sitting here with my really FAST computer, listening to Christmas carols, eating a morning bun, drinking hot real coffee, life is good! To the beginning:
Leaving Nyumbani was so hard. The last few days were a whirlwind of goodbyes, Sunday morning was the 1 year memorial mass for Fr. D'Ag. Protus asked me to speak, got through it without tears. Spent the day packing, how did I get so much stuff? My favorite taxi driver, Mike, came to say goodbye, bringing gifts and his girlfriend, he said that I was his most favorite mzungu customer, but I was very serious about time! We both cried. Leaving the kids was heart wrenching, we gathered in the cottage, tears flowing, I gave each a hug and a kiss in their hand to keep forever and use if they needed it. The boys, all crying, John, Sammy, Brian and George walked me to the pick up truck, John holding on tight. George said he couldn't sleep without a back rub, I told him I'd left instructions for the new volunteer, Sammy wanted to know what would happen if he got sick again, I reassured him that his new medicine was working, Brian was so quiet, John looked up and whispered "Susan please don't go" My heart was breaking. I promised over and over I would be back.
And I was gone.
I cried when the plane took off and flew over Nyumbani. Slept for awhile, woke up feeling sad but excited to be heading home and seeing my family. The Amsterdam airport was overwhelming, lots of white people and of all things Christmas decorations! Every leg of the trip I felt a little better and felt my head turning towards home.
Got to fly first class from Minneapolis to Madison, the 45" leg, where were they for the 9 hour legs! and was so happy to look down the stairs and see my family and friends waiting for me. The biggest surprise was Ali was there! She had flown in from DC so we were actually all together, it was wonderful. They all said I looked like a dirty hippie, which I admit I did. Jack looked and looked at me then took my hand and walked to baggage claim with me. I really think he remembered me. He's such a little boy! Officer Tim was there safe and sound. But it was so cold! I've been shivering since I got off the plane.
Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful, especially because Liz and Brandon announced that baby #2 is due in June! They've known for a while but wanted to wait until I got home, a wonderful homecoming gift.
Then I got the news about the boys in the village..... it had rained, which it only does a few times a year there and a group of kids had gone, unbeknown to the adults, to swim in a sand dam. One of the boys got in trouble, nobody knows how to swim, the other boy jumped in to save him and they both drowned. Their names are Mutisya and Mwoki, it's important to me that these kids always have a name for the rest of the world.
I'm back at work, now working in the allergy clinic. The staff has been incredibly welcoming and gracious to me. I told them they could tell me to cut the Kenya whenever! It's a lot of new to learn but it's good for me. A fresh start, but lots of changes in my life these past few weeks.
What I love: I see my family and friends all the time, I'm clean! all the time! I walk on sidewalks, I drive my car on the right side of the road, I watch the news on TV, I feel safe all the time, even when I'm out after dark. amazing bathrooms everywhere, snow almost everyday! we have 15" here. the newspaper and coffee in the morning.
What I miss: all the kids and my friends, the sun! voice of America and the global news, the work I did there, the sense that time is a suggestion not an absolute, how nobody whines-no matter how desperate their situation is, the sound of Swahili and African music. and yes, the matatus.
What is hard to deal with here: There are a lot of white people here! you have to be on time, you have to move fast, you have to listen to people complain about the most insignificant things like they really matter, the houses are so big and the cars so fancy, the lack of gratitude and the constant need for more, that Kenya is so so far away. That 10 months could go by so quickly.
I will keep up the blog with news of the kids etc. It's good to be home.