We have had horrendous internet issues here, so frustrating. No more uploading pictures for a while, it really did crash the system! We've had no access for days on end and intermittent when it does appear. I have had to make numerous trips to karen with my computer in my backpack to try and hook up at the internet cafe there, which is even slower than here. One of the things I definitely won't miss.
I've had a good couple of weeks, 2 of my cousins came for a one day visit,a safari stopover. It was great fun, they showed me the luxury side of Kenya, I took them to the slums! They stayed at the Giraffe Manor, a hotel not far from here. It was in this British estate house, with giraffes all over. They stuck their heads in the window and took food right off of our plates! The food and ambience was amazing, a welcome break that I will be forever grateful to Carol and Pete for giving me. Carol is going to do a blog entry from the US so you will get the whole story and pictures from her.
The cottage is recovering from ken's death. We talk about it a lot and look at his picture. The night of his funeral we had a private cottage meeting., just the kids, me and mum terry. We prayed, sang, remembered. We decided that ken always wanted us to be a happy cottage so we will be one. They're working hard at it, but they need to see me every night, stick close and hug hard. They have lived through more than most people do in a lifetime.
This past weekend another volunteer beth and I spent the weekend at the home of the parents of one of Ali's coworkers who is Kenyan. It was a wonderful break, they were such gracious hosts. He was a Fulbright scholar to the US in 1966,it was an honor to be in his company. We had great food, interesting conversations, long walks,and hot showers! Fulbright is all about cultural interchange and that was the best.
A few things I will miss, the birds that fly right into my room and walk around, voice of America on the radio, (especially the show Border Crossings at night, great music), Al Jazeera news on TV when we are actually around a tv, the best samosas in the world.
Thank you for all your blog comments, brook in virgina welcome to the blog! Lauren thank you for sending healthy baby updates, they are food for my soul.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo little boy
Monday, September 24, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
A Sad Farewell
For two days it has been rainy, damp and gray here. Everyone has been wondering around kind of sad and lost. I could hear the big girls singing, preparing for the service. I have never seen such mud, and this is the time of year it's supposed to be warm and sunny. There's no hot water, I feel dirty, emotionally drained and just plain missing Ken. Just about everyday for 8 months I have checked on him and cared for him. There is a huge hole in my heart and in my day.
Today was his funeral, woke up to rain again. They brought his body back to Nyumbani in a plain little wooden coffin about 9:15 this morning. Mum Terry, Sr. Julie, myself and cottage D escorted it into the school room. The kids came from all over the compound and took their seats, with us closest to Ken. The music was haunting and sad, the tears flowed down their faces. These kids have been through so much loss, have so much uncertainty in their lives. The older kids have seen so many children die, they all fear they will be next. Fr. Ludwig did a great service, he cried too. The D kids did the readings, you would have been proud of how they did. Some of us said prayers, I prayed for all the volunteers all over the world who came to know and love Ken's spirit and light, that they continue to feel it and spread it, so that he is remembered and never forgotten around the world.
At the end of the service they opened this little door on top of the coffin and you could look through a little pane of glass at his face. That was weird. The kids all filed by, looking, rubbing their hands on the wood. When it was just the adults in the room Protus opened the coffin, (closed only by a hook and eye lock.) and I put in his DC hat, a letter I wrote him and a picture of his DC aunties.
Then we headed to the cemetery, about a 20 minute drive away. He got another ride in the new truck! When we arrived there we saw his open grave, in a children's section, 4 more empty ones waiting. It is row upon row of wooden crosses with children's names, sometimes only first names, often only the year of birth because they have been abandoned and nobody knew their birthday.
We sang and prayed, then everyone shoveled dirt. Most touching was the men of Nyumbani, the drivers, staff, how lovingly they filled in the grave,smoothed out the top, we placed all our flowers on it and then we left. How hard to leave him behind.
I gave Ignatius, his best friend, his watch from Susanne. He was so proud and touched, I don't think he will ever take it off either.
And now, life goes on. Thank you for all your support, it's meant a lot.
Today was his funeral, woke up to rain again. They brought his body back to Nyumbani in a plain little wooden coffin about 9:15 this morning. Mum Terry, Sr. Julie, myself and cottage D escorted it into the school room. The kids came from all over the compound and took their seats, with us closest to Ken. The music was haunting and sad, the tears flowed down their faces. These kids have been through so much loss, have so much uncertainty in their lives. The older kids have seen so many children die, they all fear they will be next. Fr. Ludwig did a great service, he cried too. The D kids did the readings, you would have been proud of how they did. Some of us said prayers, I prayed for all the volunteers all over the world who came to know and love Ken's spirit and light, that they continue to feel it and spread it, so that he is remembered and never forgotten around the world.
At the end of the service they opened this little door on top of the coffin and you could look through a little pane of glass at his face. That was weird. The kids all filed by, looking, rubbing their hands on the wood. When it was just the adults in the room Protus opened the coffin, (closed only by a hook and eye lock.) and I put in his DC hat, a letter I wrote him and a picture of his DC aunties.
Then we headed to the cemetery, about a 20 minute drive away. He got another ride in the new truck! When we arrived there we saw his open grave, in a children's section, 4 more empty ones waiting. It is row upon row of wooden crosses with children's names, sometimes only first names, often only the year of birth because they have been abandoned and nobody knew their birthday.
We sang and prayed, then everyone shoveled dirt. Most touching was the men of Nyumbani, the drivers, staff, how lovingly they filled in the grave,smoothed out the top, we placed all our flowers on it and then we left. How hard to leave him behind.
I gave Ignatius, his best friend, his watch from Susanne. He was so proud and touched, I don't think he will ever take it off either.
And now, life goes on. Thank you for all your support, it's meant a lot.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Kennady
The words I always knew I would have to say. Ken died this morning. These last few weeks have been such a struggle for him as it became obvious he was losing the battle. His lungs were worse and worse, he was losing weight and losing the will to fight. Everything from eating to finding a comfortable position to breathing was getting harder and harder. One night he vomited all over his sweatshirt, but his IV was threaded through the sleeve. In order to take the sweatshirt off I had to disconnect the IV. Just as I got the IV apart the power went out. Had to do the rest by flashlight. He looked at me and said this is all too hard. Last Thursday night he was moved to the sick room with round the clock nursing care. On Friday they put another NG (down the nose to the stomach) tube in, over his very strenuous objections. The kids called it his pipe. Over the weekend the doctor that was covering for Nyumbani was from the UK. On Saturday she and I developed a tube feeding schedule so he was finally getting consistent nourishment. On Sunday she looked at his last 3 chest xrays and determined that he was suffering from TB. He was being treated for it when he came last January, completed treatment in June, but his August x-ray was clear that the TB had not been succesfully treated. While on the one hand it was bad news, the treatment would now have to be second line and he would need an injection everyday and where on his poor body would we put it? But, now we had the reason for the failure to thrive and the horrendous lung status. We felt he finally had a chance. Until this morning.
He was awake all night and very restless. I left Nyumbani early in the pouring rain to go help at one of the slum clinics. Shortly after arriving I got a call that he was worse, talking about dying, about his family, hallucinating and his breathing was deteriorating. I left the clinic and tried to get back as soon as I could, not an easy task in the pouring rain and traffic jams. He told Mercy, the Kenyan nurse, that he wanted to go back to his home, that nobody was there, he had seen both his parents and his brother die, but he wanted to be put in his bed and we shouldn't worry, he wouldn't be afraid. Mercy told him that we didn't have transport so then he asked Mum Terry to take him back to the cottage. While she was carrying him back he said "I'm not going to make it, I'm too sick. But John and George will make it." She brought him into the cottage and he looked all around, she laid him down, he was wrapped in the fleece blanket my niece Elizabeth made, his favorite one, wearing his watch from Susanne that he never took off with his DC sweatshirt next to him, and within a few minutes he died.
I arrived about a half hour later. Sr. Julie saw me coming down the driveway and came to meet me and I knew. I spent the rest of the day in the sickroom with his body. Some of the kids came in to say good bye. His best friend, Ignatius, is really struggling. One of the sweetest moments I have had here is one day we took the kids to a movie. Ken and Ignatius were walking down the hallway talking when Ken stopped because he was too tired to go on. Without breaking stride Ignatius bent down picked him up, put him on his hip and carried him, all the time they kept talking. They're the same age. This is what friends do. Ignatius would bring a bike over to the cottage and put Ken on the seat and ride him around the compound.
Ken loved the Nyumbani drivers, he told me once when he grew up he was going to be a driver and drive to Mombasa. He loved going for rides in the cars. This week we received 2 new trucks from USAID and Rotary Club. When it came time to take him to the mortuary we wrapped him up and laid him in the back seat of the new extended cab pick up truck. We all thought it was fitting his last ride was in the new truck he was so excited about. With one of his favorite drivers.
The kindness to me today from the staff was so touching. They would say sorry when they saw me and thank me for the care I gave him. Mum Gladys, who is in charge of laundry, saw how my only pair of khaki pants were covered to the knees in red mud from my frantic trip back. She took them and washed them and got all the mud out. The kids see so much loss, we are reassuring them that they are strong and healthy. I am so glad I'm here for the Cottage D kids. I told many of them, we've all been sad today. I have spent so much time with Ken these last few weeks, hours with him wrapped in his fleece blanket on my lap, how truly lucky I am.
His whole family is gone, I can't even fathom that. He didn't know his birthday,always said he was "tweleve." (pronounced just like that). He weighed 11kg when he died.
When I first arrived I gave Ken his Cottage D We are Family t-shirt, he had just arrived a few days before. He had never gotten a present before, his whole body was trembling with excitement. It was huge on him so he tucked it all in his pants. he had a smile that knocked your socks off, could be crabbier than anyone I ever met, could dance like you wouldn't believe. And he felt all of your love.
One of his DC aunties, (Ali and her 2 friends, Liz and Farya who he loved) Farya, said he died on the first day of Ramadan, a very blessed day, and that means he has a direct path to God.
Godspeed Ken (in the new truck)
He was awake all night and very restless. I left Nyumbani early in the pouring rain to go help at one of the slum clinics. Shortly after arriving I got a call that he was worse, talking about dying, about his family, hallucinating and his breathing was deteriorating. I left the clinic and tried to get back as soon as I could, not an easy task in the pouring rain and traffic jams. He told Mercy, the Kenyan nurse, that he wanted to go back to his home, that nobody was there, he had seen both his parents and his brother die, but he wanted to be put in his bed and we shouldn't worry, he wouldn't be afraid. Mercy told him that we didn't have transport so then he asked Mum Terry to take him back to the cottage. While she was carrying him back he said "I'm not going to make it, I'm too sick. But John and George will make it." She brought him into the cottage and he looked all around, she laid him down, he was wrapped in the fleece blanket my niece Elizabeth made, his favorite one, wearing his watch from Susanne that he never took off with his DC sweatshirt next to him, and within a few minutes he died.
I arrived about a half hour later. Sr. Julie saw me coming down the driveway and came to meet me and I knew. I spent the rest of the day in the sickroom with his body. Some of the kids came in to say good bye. His best friend, Ignatius, is really struggling. One of the sweetest moments I have had here is one day we took the kids to a movie. Ken and Ignatius were walking down the hallway talking when Ken stopped because he was too tired to go on. Without breaking stride Ignatius bent down picked him up, put him on his hip and carried him, all the time they kept talking. They're the same age. This is what friends do. Ignatius would bring a bike over to the cottage and put Ken on the seat and ride him around the compound.
Ken loved the Nyumbani drivers, he told me once when he grew up he was going to be a driver and drive to Mombasa. He loved going for rides in the cars. This week we received 2 new trucks from USAID and Rotary Club. When it came time to take him to the mortuary we wrapped him up and laid him in the back seat of the new extended cab pick up truck. We all thought it was fitting his last ride was in the new truck he was so excited about. With one of his favorite drivers.
The kindness to me today from the staff was so touching. They would say sorry when they saw me and thank me for the care I gave him. Mum Gladys, who is in charge of laundry, saw how my only pair of khaki pants were covered to the knees in red mud from my frantic trip back. She took them and washed them and got all the mud out. The kids see so much loss, we are reassuring them that they are strong and healthy. I am so glad I'm here for the Cottage D kids. I told many of them, we've all been sad today. I have spent so much time with Ken these last few weeks, hours with him wrapped in his fleece blanket on my lap, how truly lucky I am.
His whole family is gone, I can't even fathom that. He didn't know his birthday,always said he was "tweleve." (pronounced just like that). He weighed 11kg when he died.
When I first arrived I gave Ken his Cottage D We are Family t-shirt, he had just arrived a few days before. He had never gotten a present before, his whole body was trembling with excitement. It was huge on him so he tucked it all in his pants. he had a smile that knocked your socks off, could be crabbier than anyone I ever met, could dance like you wouldn't believe. And he felt all of your love.
One of his DC aunties, (Ali and her 2 friends, Liz and Farya who he loved) Farya, said he died on the first day of Ramadan, a very blessed day, and that means he has a direct path to God.
Godspeed Ken (in the new truck)
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Lamu
This is the airport at Lamu. They wheel your luggage from the plane in a big wooden cart, unload it onto a concrete ledge. The greeter from the hotel is barefoot, carries your luggage in a small wooden cart and walks you down a sand path to an old jetty where his wooden boat (dhow) is waiting. They then take you across the water to the hotel. You can feel your blood pressure and stress level dropping with every minute. 
This is the airport waiting room. sand floor, thatched roof. To weigh your luggage they hang it on a hook on a scale. Mostly mizungos fly there. 
One of only 2 vehicles on the island, the other ways to get around are by foot, boat (dhow) or donkey. There's a district hospital on the island. one ATM, and occasional internet. It truly is entering into a different world. I think it is one of the most favorite places in the world that I've been
view from outside my room
Our hotel my room is on the second floor in the front corner. Down below is a restaurant, we would order and then they would bring the food up to us
Looking out from the common/dining area between our roomshref="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV5dt8KzMjUnYEKjhi31jmsPfWzFwznMN-FZ7Ko6ofy8smU2GwZnVWjHL44evwxnQL5zgCr02QVnjXSZOHLgDO-oZxXHkIpvdrs8gAEeK1UpzrPtCPLSIF_PBX_v0zUfz1ttofP3zOQ2k/s1600-h/DSCF1260.jpg">
Night time on the vernadah of our hotel.
Kibera and Rosalia and her family
We took these the day Dr. Jim and I visited Kibera to meet Rosalia and her family. That's her mom and her twin brother Titus. He is HIV-
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Junior ambassadors
On Wednesday I took 8 kids from Nyumbani and Rosalia to the US Embassy for the day. The kids were the ones with the highest academic scores for the last term, they ranged in age from 8-13. We picked Rosalia up the afternoon before in Kibera and she spent the night here at Nyumbani. We briefed them all the night before aboout what to expect. Some of them, when they heard American Embassy thought they were going to America!
They all had a great time starting with the security clearance procedure. They had never been wanded before or searched! I don't have pictures because you can't take cameras there. Their eyes were so big, we went first to the main lobby of the embassy where we were greeted by the cultural affairs and educational affairs attaches. They're the ones I report to, and have been so supportive of me. They loved the idea of bringing my Fulbright work right to the embassy. The kids were of course most enamoured by the bathroom, automatic flush toilets and motion sensor water! There were lots of bathroom visits, even had to send Justus the cultural attache after the boys when we heard they were playing with the spray in the boys room! Kids are the same all over.
The ambassador came down and spent about a half hour with the kids, he really enjoyed meeting them. The kids were charming and inquisitive and very well behaved. They took a picture of all of us, hopefully they will email it to me and I will post it. We had tea, watched a video about PEPFAR which the kids actually enjoyed and learned from. Then they played outside for awhile, needed to run off some energy. People were coming down and talking to us, commenting how you never see children there and how wonderful it was. Everyone was warm and welcoming. We then headed across the compound to the USAID building where we met the PEPFAR staff and people from USAID. The kids each said their name, age, what they want to be when they grow up and "thanks for the medicine." This is where all their ARVS come from. (We had talked here about how important it is for the kids to realize how hard people work to get them their meds, they don't just magically show up.) The staff was so touched, saying how they are so buried in paperwork and budgets, it meant so much to see children whose lives they had literally saved by their work. Soon the boys were wearing the mens' suitcoats, kids were sitting at desks playing with computers, making copies of their hands on the copiers. It was actually great fun. Then, the head of PEPFAR, Buck Buckingham, sat down with all of them sitting on the floor at his feet, and told them that he too is HIV+ and has taken "dawa" (medicine) for 18 years. He told them if they always take their dawa, take care of themselves, do well in school and work hard they can live a long healthy life. You could see in their faces what his words meant. I don't think they will ever forget it.
For lunch we had chicken and mashed potatoes!!! How did they know that's my favorite?! We all headed home with lots to think about, well fed, and for me very proud to be American.
On a sadder more frustrating note: Kennady is not doing well. He has been here for 8 months, has been on ARVS for all that time and his CD4 count is 35 and his weight is actually going down. He's withdrawn, has a bad pneumonia. We couldn't get an IV in so his meds are by injections. he has no fat or muscle, the needle hits bone. It makes me want to throw up when I do it, and he's screaming in pain. He is losing his will to live because he knows he is losing the battle. I think his body was just so damaged by the years of unchecked virus and severe malnutrition. I don't know what the answer is here. I fight for him when I can but it's the Kenyans call. Margaret all over again.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little boy
They all had a great time starting with the security clearance procedure. They had never been wanded before or searched! I don't have pictures because you can't take cameras there. Their eyes were so big, we went first to the main lobby of the embassy where we were greeted by the cultural affairs and educational affairs attaches. They're the ones I report to, and have been so supportive of me. They loved the idea of bringing my Fulbright work right to the embassy. The kids were of course most enamoured by the bathroom, automatic flush toilets and motion sensor water! There were lots of bathroom visits, even had to send Justus the cultural attache after the boys when we heard they were playing with the spray in the boys room! Kids are the same all over.
The ambassador came down and spent about a half hour with the kids, he really enjoyed meeting them. The kids were charming and inquisitive and very well behaved. They took a picture of all of us, hopefully they will email it to me and I will post it. We had tea, watched a video about PEPFAR which the kids actually enjoyed and learned from. Then they played outside for awhile, needed to run off some energy. People were coming down and talking to us, commenting how you never see children there and how wonderful it was. Everyone was warm and welcoming. We then headed across the compound to the USAID building where we met the PEPFAR staff and people from USAID. The kids each said their name, age, what they want to be when they grow up and "thanks for the medicine." This is where all their ARVS come from. (We had talked here about how important it is for the kids to realize how hard people work to get them their meds, they don't just magically show up.) The staff was so touched, saying how they are so buried in paperwork and budgets, it meant so much to see children whose lives they had literally saved by their work. Soon the boys were wearing the mens' suitcoats, kids were sitting at desks playing with computers, making copies of their hands on the copiers. It was actually great fun. Then, the head of PEPFAR, Buck Buckingham, sat down with all of them sitting on the floor at his feet, and told them that he too is HIV+ and has taken "dawa" (medicine) for 18 years. He told them if they always take their dawa, take care of themselves, do well in school and work hard they can live a long healthy life. You could see in their faces what his words meant. I don't think they will ever forget it.
For lunch we had chicken and mashed potatoes!!! How did they know that's my favorite?! We all headed home with lots to think about, well fed, and for me very proud to be American.
On a sadder more frustrating note: Kennady is not doing well. He has been here for 8 months, has been on ARVS for all that time and his CD4 count is 35 and his weight is actually going down. He's withdrawn, has a bad pneumonia. We couldn't get an IV in so his meds are by injections. he has no fat or muscle, the needle hits bone. It makes me want to throw up when I do it, and he's screaming in pain. He is losing his will to live because he knows he is losing the battle. I think his body was just so damaged by the years of unchecked virus and severe malnutrition. I don't know what the answer is here. I fight for him when I can but it's the Kenyans call. Margaret all over again.
Stay safe Officer Tim, xoxoxo Little boy
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