The Philosophical Entry

Amongst all the frantic running around saying goodbye I’ve actually had time to sit and think about all the things I’ve learned these past 10 months. I learned I could do it. 10 months ago I didn’t know how I could bear to be away from my family and my life. The culture shock of being here again, getting used to how things are, the sheer distance, seemed insurmountable. But I did it. And it wasn’t always easy and fun. I can be on my own. I have the life skills to live independently, even competently, phone issues notwithstanding. But a big part of who I am is the people I love. That’s what makes coming here and leaving here so wrenching. Sunday nights are the hardest, everyone is home with their family and I’m here in my room alone. Then I mention it to a friend here and suddenly I have an invitation every Sunday night for dinner. The kindness of people is to be cherished.
Time offers you all sorts of opportunities. I think of all the relationships I’ve developed, some quite unexpected, and the conversations and things I’ve learned that have resulted. All because the Fulbright gave me time to live here, not just visit here.
I can take being hungry, and dirty, and a curiosity, but it all goes down better if you remember to laugh. And you always need to remember that what is “an experience” for me is their life. I get to get off the matatu and on a plane, they don’t.
The expertise I came with and that I developed is best shared, that is the value of me being here. I can’t live my life knowing I have skills that I keep to myself or for myself. That just seems wrong for me, I don’t want to be the one that does it all, I want to be the one that gives back so they do it all. That’s where the meaning of my education and my opportunities is found for me. Everyday I am thankful for the chance to live what I believe.
I’ve learned that restaurants and cabs are expensive but sometimes you just need them, that they play the Kenyan national anthem at the start of every movie and you all have to stand up, that a hot shower and electricity is a gift not a right, that when you pay by the minute you talk faster, that a backrub lets a child have a more peaceful night sleep, that the American Embassy is home, that 23 year old roommantes are quite fun, that Lamu is like no place on earth, that we are all more alike than different and we all want the same thing: to be safe healthy and happy and to know the truth.
That it’s a thousand times worse to watch a child suffer than to watch a child die.
48 hours to go.
Stay safe Officer Tim xoxoxo Little boy